One of those days...

Wow! What a day today has been. I love how when the day turns to night and things seem to slow down, how I can kind of overview I guess you would say the events in that day. You know, it's just that..."that day." I really haven't had much sleep the past two days, day one being because I scared myself with some silly little situation that happened at Brooke's school, which I might add didn't phase Brooke ONE BIT...but yet kept me up until 3:30am! Second being that Brooke's asthma was pretty worry some during the night, which means I slept as if I just brought home a new born baby. Things are looking up though and that's what mainly is important. I took Brooke to the UMC clinic where grandma Josie works and the PA ordered her a shot (I'm assuming some sort of steroid for the inflammation in her passageways) in the bum. ::Sigh:: Yes, we had to argue with her to just let grandma give her the shot. :(( Finally we got it done, and it turned out to be nothing. Brooke even thought she was kind of silly for being so dramatic about getting a shot. Brooke is doing a whole lot better and this to shall pass. After leaving the clinic we swung by the house to scoop of Jason to go with us to get some McDonald's for lunch. It's crazy because right as we were finishing up lunch my uncle Ray and his son little Ray showed up at our door! I was surprised because I did not expect to see them. I guess my dad's side of the family is pretty unpredictable. Ironically PePaw happened to stop by the house to get his work shirts to drop off at the cleaners and he saw that Ray was here. He was definitely happy to see his brother. It warmed my heart to see them hugging so genuinely, makes you realize and refocus about what's really important in life. Pepaw took them to Furr's for dinner, and not so surprising they are at the bar. :(( It's not something I want him doing, but he is my dad and I have to just keep my opinions to myself. I just wish people would see that those choices are poor, and almost always nothing good comes from choosing to hang out at a bar. I just pray they come home safely and that I can minister to my dad when it's over with. Now back to my choatic night. I ended up with Kyra and Averyn joining the group and Tia Jennifer ordered pizza for us. There was definitely a lot of yelling on my part, :'( obviously I am not happy about that. At those times it seems so hard for me to just not be angry with my kids for fighting and telling. Brooke cried over and over because either Kyra was ignoring her or that Kyra wouldn't play what she wanted to play...and I am sure many more things. I had to just get myself together and asked God to just PLEASE help me communicate with Brooke calmly. I then grabbed her softly by the arms and explained to her that no one wants to play with a little girl who is crying over and over again about small things. I sent her to her room and told her to get herself together and then come out when she can be calm. This however took more than once. Eventually we got it back to normal and the girls calmly played, even if it was different things. Kyra watched TV and Brooke played with her baby dolls sitting beside me in the recliner. On the flip side, Taylor is fighting his sleep, Jason just got home and the little guy is still awake! It's been a long, long 2 days!!! :O But over all it's so funny how even though I have these hard days with the kids, I still very much wouldn't change it for anything else. I love these kids, I want to be the one caring and loving on them, even if it's me yelling at them to quiet it down (totally contradicting) or me just breathing in the peace that we so rarely get when the house is full. I love it, I honestly love it. There are things I want to change, I want to have more patience when it gets loud and none of the kids are minding me, I want to play more with them and set aside cleaning or picking up. I want to be their memories. <3 So I will have a serious talk tonight with Heavenly Father about what he needs me to do to better mother these kids. I want to be like him, HE is the one I care most about. I do NOT want to fail him. Sure hope I'm not. -xoxo

Simply Amazing :)

Today was my parent-teacher conference with Ms.Stevens, and it went so good. She went over her grading curriculum and just kind of gave Jason and I a blue print on how and why she will grade their school work from now on. His coloring is improving beyond my words can express, his counting and pronunciation are improving as well. Over all, Tyler is progressing wonderfully in kindergarten and I am just so happy to hear this! Ms.Stevens didn't have any complaints or major concerns for Tyler and that alone has put my heart at ease. My little man is growing up! I just think he's so wonderful. I thank God for these kids everyday! They definitely bring light to my world, although most days bring struggle to bring peace between these kids, and I may yell at them many times a day, and I am constantly correcting them..you know, I wouldn't change any of it for the world. This is my life, and this is what Heavenly Father had planned for me, and I am glad I know my purpose in this life. Now, I am just taking it in stride! Taylor is doing awesome too, I ask him to say his name and he says "Tator!" It's the cutest thing ever, his talking is getting better by the day! Now it's my goal to teach him to have a clean mouth! Our family (The Parks) seem to have a weird sense of humor, and I think I need to clean it up a little. :/ We seem to say out of the norm kind of things, and I know it's not appropriate so I plan on talking about it with Jason tonight when he gets home from work. I think more of it's directed towards Tyler, but Brooke can jump in on it from time to time. But we do need to just change it up, we seem to get caught up in having a good time with the kids, forgetting our responsibility in teaching them right and wrong. Oh the duties/responsibilities of parents. :)) Brooke is doing great too, we had a little meltdown at dinner tonight. I cooked spaghetti and she just had a fit about it. She asked me to fix her tuna, but I told her no. I just am getting fed up with always having to make different things for her if she doesn't like what I fix. So it's a battle I'm going to have to fight against her. I messed up though because I told her I wasn't going to fix her anything else since she didn't eat her dinner, and the only thing I would allow her to have was water. Well then Brittani called and invited us over for cookies, so we went and Brooke ate some!! Gggrrr to forgetting that I told her I wasn't going to allow her to having anything else!! Today was such a great day, the weather was great, Jason is working 3-11 which allows me to have the mornings with him (more like I get sleep later than normal) we went to Tyler's parent/teacher conference, went to wal-mart after with Taylor and came home to fix spam sandwiches and just relaxed the rest of the day! It was nice to have this semi-cold weather and to just snuggle with the kids. At this moment, I am so happy with my life. My husband, my family, my church, every blessing that I'm feeling from Jesus by trying my best to choose the right, to live the gospel, obeying the word of wisdom, reacting and not acting with people. It's so wonderful, the blessings within are wonderful. I'm so thankful for this gospel, for the restoration of Jesus's church, for our prophet, for the women of Relief Society, my sisters. I'm in love with life. <3 -Kayla

Communication

There are so many things going on right now, so I'm going to break it down in this post (more like venting). Brooke and Tyler are still doing so good in school right now. Tyler's handwriting is getting better by each passing day and Brooke was already tested for GT, so I'm just waiting to hear back from her teacher about her scores. Jamie and the family are doing well in Hawaii, as far as we are all concerned he won't be getting deployed and I am so happy to hear this news! I hated when he was in Afghanistan for his previous mission because that is where all the danger is. So I'm glad we get to keep him, and I'll for sure be praying that it stay this way the remainder of his serving in the Army. Jennifer and Trenton are still the same, and I pray that they continue to grow and mature together in their marriage. I guess I really had no choice but to mature so early on in life, being that I had Brooke when I was 16. My parents were and remained firm about me mothering her, which to this day I understand and am SO grateful for their decision to be that hard on me. It made me the mother I am today, and I know I am not the best mother to my kids, but I do love them and care about trying to better myself for them ultimately. Taylor is still crazy spoiled, but he is my baby and I don't mind giving myself to him throughout the day while his siblings are at school. I am relishing in these moments that I have with him. He is talking so good now and is wanting to do everything by himself! :( It makes me sad to think that my "baby" is no longer a baby. I'm 24 years old with my "baby" now being a toddler, this is my family and now I strive to grow close to them all and for us to always be united. That is my goal. Jason and I had a serious talk this afternoon before lunch because I think I finally hit that breaking point with him. First off, communication is KEY to having a successful marriage...well, I take that back...most marriages that have communication are most likely to succeed. Not all husbands and wives use communication productively in their marriages. Anyways, I sometimes as a wife feel so like I'm on autopilot in my marriage. Like this is all I am to Jason, and this is just how my life is going to be and end. As if I'm standing on my own, lifting my own weight along with carrying it. I cannot stand that feeling! I want that spark, that flame to always remain lit and burning ferociously with love and excitement. I am way to young to be feeling as if I'm in a 60 year old marriage!! Jason tends to make unpleasant jokes sometimes about other females, and it really does make me insecure. I get to thinking "does he find that other woman thinner and more appealing than myself?", primarily because I do have my own insecurities about my body image, and I could be most likely taking out my own insecurities on his jokes, which are very harmless. But, I did tell him how I need him to be and how I need him to just accept that I am sensitive and I need reassurance in my life, especially from him. The great thing about my husband is that I  know I am his everything, and I trust him that he will change in that aspect of our marriage. :)) He always changes when it's called for, he is a humbling spirit and I know this is what I needed to do. I needed to communicate with him about needing him to be just a little more romantic and protecting of me. My marriage with Jason started off very rocky and was a definite trial in life until after the birth of Taylor. When I first became pregnant with Tyler, we moved into an apartment together with Brooke. At that time, I had NEVER lived with a "boyfriend" and was even more scared because I had this little baby girl (Brooke) that I was allowing Jason to parent.  I knew though that we needed to do this because it was the right thing to do. We had good jobs and there was no reason on why we shouldn't become adults. During that whole year living in those apartment we were tested and trialed. There were a lot of disagreements, and even second-guessing between us to. But either way, we stayed committed to one another. We then decided together that moving to Houston with his parents would be good for us, because we for one would have them to help us with the kids, and secondly they said there were better job opportunities for us in the city. Little did we know we should have stayed in Plainview being that we already had good jobs. We then led to separating, me moving back to Plainview with just the kids. We were separated for 7 months!!! But then again, we always stayed committed. I really think we know we are for eachother. I then moved back to Houston, and we stayed there for a good 9 months before we decided that our home is in Plainview. So we moved back with Pepaw and we've just grown together. I just know he is the man I am supposed to grow old with. He is forgiving and loving with our family and kids. <3 Well the girls just came over and I'll finish up this thought later!! Kayla

Proud Momma!!

This came home in Tyler's folder Tuesday, and boy was I impressed!! This is the best coloring I have seen from him since school began. It really reassures me that he is going to do great in school! I'm so impressed with him and how much is he maturing in his work. His name is looking so good, he loves practicing with me and Jason with letter pronunciations and singing days of the week and months! I'm just so proud of him and what he's accomplishing as a kindergartner. <3 I just needed to blog this because for one it's worth digitally saving and I'm just having a proud momma high! -xoxo Kayla!!

Tyler,,,my love

My hero is doing so good in Kindergarten. He is singing his months of the year in order, he is writing his name so much neater, his coloring is improving so much!! His speech is becoming more clear, I have noticed. He isn't a morning person so much anymore, but it seems like he gets into the groove right before dropping them off at school. We decided to post pone the Sylvan program until early next year. Financially it is what's best for our family. We will have a huge debt paid off next year so we shouldn't have any problems making it work, and we really have seen so much improvement in Tyler's work. So I am at ease with this decision, and I know this is how it's supposed to be going right now. I'm allowing the spirit to guide me with these kids. :) I just needed to praise this little guy because his spirit makes my day bright. He comes home and does his homework willingly, he never fights it (as long as we remain patient with him). He still runs around the house all crazy with a blanket tied around him as his cape, he still wrestles Taylor all of the time until one of them starts crying, he still hums while we eat dinner, he still says "butt hole, underwear!!", and a series of other funny words, which I  don't mind because this is just Tyler, he is his father's son. I love all of this about him, his personality reminds me so much of Jason, and Jason is such a good independent man. So I know Tyler will be fine. If anything, I do want my boys to be like their father. Jason is amazing to our family, so anyone who thinks differently can turn right back around and go back to where they came from! :D The kids are all doing great and I am one content, happy mother. :)-xoxox I LOVE YOU TYLER!!! You Rock Mommies World Sweet Boy!

our October evening....

This is the best picture I could of the kids together. Tyler looks awesome!! hahaha

Monkey Man

 Yes, my little family is wild! Jason was sweeping the driveway this afternoon and the boys rode around on their bikes while he did swept. Brooke and I saw them outside having a blast, so we joined in on the fun. Taylor is getting better at pedaling on his bike, I got a cute video of him doing so. Brooke and Tyler of course fought of the 3 wheel bike, we need to buy them both new bikes asap!! Maybe Santa will be generous this year, MAYBE. :)) Jason decided to climb trees, and his hair is beautiful as well as himself. <3 I love this man.

He is my everything.

We had Burger King and Taco Bell to finish off this wonderful, breezy afternoon of spending time together. I'm loving this whole laid back lifestyle so much.

The Boys!! I love them much!!

 Brooke helping daddy.

Brew date with my lady

 This evening I promised Brooke a date at the Brew. She knows I go to the Brew alot with Emilie and she was curious to see what it's all about. Our deal was if she was good and obedient for a whole week I would reward her with a date to the Brew. Brooke did awesome with her behavior for a whole week. We did have meltdowns here and there, but over all she was a pretty easy child. :)) It was fun to see her reaction when seeing the Brew for the first time. I don't know why, but I guessed she envisioned like a Palazzo Hotel scenario or something, because she was like "this is the Brew (in a shocked way)?? haha..I explained to her that alot of Wayland students come here to study or hang out with friends while drinking hot chocolate and enjoying baked goodies. It was no nice to have this time with her. To see the look on her face of pure happiness, by just being with me was so rewarding to myself!! She is such an amazing little girl, who I just know will get far in life.

 We talked about Math, friends from school (which was pretty much her telling me about the drama on the playground), what she wants to be for Halloween and the Plan of Salvation. She told me about her friend Layla's grandmother dying of a heart attack, and she asked me why we die. I explained to her that Jesus probably stopped Layla's grandma's heart to bring her to him in the spirit world. That dying pretty much just means we leave our bodies to move onto the spirit world, we never lose who WE ARE. Then I briefly went over the Plan of Salvation with her. This was nice to re tune myself with the gospel and our eternal plan. I got to take advantage of this topic and

 tell her at the same time to always try and be the example. That if we are nice and obedient we can display our Christianity to those who haven't been saved, that we must lead by example. I know she is only 7 years old, and will have many challenges in life being a latter-day-saint, but I believe by me telling her these things and living it myself will build her touchstone, her foundation of our covenants with our Heavenly Father. I am not perfect and I do not always have a clean mouth, but I do obey what I have promised my Father in Heaven. I pray for forgiveness of my weaknesses and I pray for strength.

 Brooke mentioned to me that she doesn't like seeing her uncle Trenton, Daddy and Pepaw drinking beers, that it is wrong and they aren't living the word of wisdom..this was also another great opportunity to help her see what a worldly life is about. I explained to her that we love Trenton, Daddy and Pepaw and that we must pray for them. That there are going to be people in our lives who we love dearly that are going to do things we don't agree with, but it definitely doesn't mean we have to choose to do it either. I grew up a Church of Christ member, and in this church they have no word of wisdom, they live by worldly people's instruction, not the instruction of our prophets. So alot of people haven't accepted the word of wisdom because they may have not been taught it or they just don't allow the spirit to guide them. I really hope that having these talks with her will help her choose the right in the future. Drinking and smoking and all other habits of the world cause us to be prisoners. I pray so much for my children to follow this gospel, because they choose to, because they have faith in the blessings that come with being obedient. People now a days are so blinded by the blessings that come from living a pure life that they mistake brief joy as blessings, only to be stoned with grief and regret after the high crashes. I do not judge these people, for I was once them. But the pain that I caused myself and most of all my husband was a very hard obstacle to over come. However, by the Atonement of Jesus Christ I was able to fully repent of my sins, and it is now as if it never happened. That is how we are supposed to feel when we truly repent of our sins. So it was nice to have this conversation with Brooke tonight, I hope we can have alot more of them in the future. We also talked about Brian. I asked Brooke how did she feel about her daddy (Jason) adopting her. She said she didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I explained to her that this isn't going to hurt anyone's feelings. That there are lots of children who are adopted into wonderful families, and that she is lucky to have Jason and me. I told her about the story of Brie Gomez and how Jesus called her to heaven while her kids are still small. I told her that God has a plan for us and we need to trust him, but at the same time our family is somewhat different, and that I wanted to take care of her on this earth in case Jesus calls me to Heaven before her. I asked her if I were to go to Heaven before her, where would she want to go, and she said she wants to stay with her daddy and brothers. This itself answered my question. I know Jason and I need to legalize Jason as her primary legal guardian along with myself (which I already am). Jason has been raising her since she was practically 7 months!! She is a Parks for sure!!! So we will soon begin this journey as our financial situation enables us to. I accomplished so many things tonight with Brooke while on this date. We will for sure continue going on these dates as her behavior permits. I am so grateful for this, I can't express how content I am with her. <3 He is amazing in all his promises!! Xoxo - Kayla