One of those days...

Wow! What a day today has been. I love how when the day turns to night and things seem to slow down, how I can kind of overview I guess you would say the events in that day. You know, it's just that..."that day." I really haven't had much sleep the past two days, day one being because I scared myself with some silly little situation that happened at Brooke's school, which I might add didn't phase Brooke ONE BIT...but yet kept me up until 3:30am! Second being that Brooke's asthma was pretty worry some during the night, which means I slept as if I just brought home a new born baby. Things are looking up though and that's what mainly is important. I took Brooke to the UMC clinic where grandma Josie works and the PA ordered her a shot (I'm assuming some sort of steroid for the inflammation in her passageways) in the bum. ::Sigh:: Yes, we had to argue with her to just let grandma give her the shot. :(( Finally we got it done, and it turned out to be nothing. Brooke even thought she was kind of silly for being so dramatic about getting a shot. Brooke is doing a whole lot better and this to shall pass. After leaving the clinic we swung by the house to scoop of Jason to go with us to get some McDonald's for lunch. It's crazy because right as we were finishing up lunch my uncle Ray and his son little Ray showed up at our door! I was surprised because I did not expect to see them. I guess my dad's side of the family is pretty unpredictable. Ironically PePaw happened to stop by the house to get his work shirts to drop off at the cleaners and he saw that Ray was here. He was definitely happy to see his brother. It warmed my heart to see them hugging so genuinely, makes you realize and refocus about what's really important in life. Pepaw took them to Furr's for dinner, and not so surprising they are at the bar. :(( It's not something I want him doing, but he is my dad and I have to just keep my opinions to myself. I just wish people would see that those choices are poor, and almost always nothing good comes from choosing to hang out at a bar. I just pray they come home safely and that I can minister to my dad when it's over with. Now back to my choatic night. I ended up with Kyra and Averyn joining the group and Tia Jennifer ordered pizza for us. There was definitely a lot of yelling on my part, :'( obviously I am not happy about that. At those times it seems so hard for me to just not be angry with my kids for fighting and telling. Brooke cried over and over because either Kyra was ignoring her or that Kyra wouldn't play what she wanted to play...and I am sure many more things. I had to just get myself together and asked God to just PLEASE help me communicate with Brooke calmly. I then grabbed her softly by the arms and explained to her that no one wants to play with a little girl who is crying over and over again about small things. I sent her to her room and told her to get herself together and then come out when she can be calm. This however took more than once. Eventually we got it back to normal and the girls calmly played, even if it was different things. Kyra watched TV and Brooke played with her baby dolls sitting beside me in the recliner. On the flip side, Taylor is fighting his sleep, Jason just got home and the little guy is still awake! It's been a long, long 2 days!!! :O But over all it's so funny how even though I have these hard days with the kids, I still very much wouldn't change it for anything else. I love these kids, I want to be the one caring and loving on them, even if it's me yelling at them to quiet it down (totally contradicting) or me just breathing in the peace that we so rarely get when the house is full. I love it, I honestly love it. There are things I want to change, I want to have more patience when it gets loud and none of the kids are minding me, I want to play more with them and set aside cleaning or picking up. I want to be their memories. <3 So I will have a serious talk tonight with Heavenly Father about what he needs me to do to better mother these kids. I want to be like him, HE is the one I care most about. I do NOT want to fail him. Sure hope I'm not. -xoxo