Bucket List

So I am up and should probably be asleep but I just have to many things going on in my mind. For one I am so thankful for Jason's aunt Melanie. I really do believe that God has put her in our life at his timing. I am inspired by her and her willingness to reach out to mine and Jason's marriage. She sent me a book to read (that I am hoping to begin reading the beginning of April, because I am trying to finish up Tim Tebow's memoir "Through My Eyes"). She also sent us a plastic picture frame with the cute saying "I love you today because..." along with a dry erase marker to fill in each day why we love one another. I think it was intended for me to let Jason know why I love him today, but he has jumped in and has written about 3 things about me that he loves and me as well about him. It's genius and it's humility generous and savvy. We hit an itch about a month ago in our marriage and I had a prompting in my heart and mind to reach out to Melanie about my feelings and concerns about mine and Jason's relationship/marriage/friendship. At that time she still gave me wonderful advice and scriptures to strive on and I love that! Her kindness even sent me this book and frame and I haven't even had it for a 24hr period and I'm enjoying it like crazy. This is us Glorifying our Father in Heaven! He loves us all and he wants us to help everyone in need. Reaching out and serving to his other children. :)
      Spring Break has already come to and end, we now have only Saturday (tomorrow), Sunday and Monday with Brooke and Tyler home, so I am hoping to make the best of it. It's been a pretty blessed spring break. We have spent LOTS of time at the parks and we took the kids to Amarillo Wednesday to the Discover Center. They loved it soo much and they each got to pick a souvenir to bring home. Tyler chose a floor puzzle that has wildlife animals on it. Brooke chose an anatomy eyeball that she is still struggling to assemble, I just hope she will keep up with the pieces because it was $20!! Way pricey for my liking.  Then my little Taylor got a dinosaur key chain that roars like...a dinosaur! All in all I had a great time and I think we'll definitely plan more family outings to Amarillo. I really like it there and I am kind of tired of Lubbock. I love memories like this. Unfortunately I lost my camera and I am thinking I left it at the park Tuesday when we spent the afternoon with Lupe, Zoe and family. I'm so bummed but I'll just have to wait for an opportunity to buy another one. I know Jason isn't to happy with me about losing it.
      Speaking of opportunities, I am going tomorrow at 8(am) to Cargill to apply for a part-time position in the lab. My supervisor Andy (he was my supervisor when I worked for him in 2005) called me this afternoon and asked me if I would be interested in this position because he is very short handed.  I really pray that I get this job. Times are weighing down on Jason and I, and I have been thinking and thinking about where I can find a good job. A job that would provide for us but yet enable me to be here for the kids as their mom as well. I trust that Heavenly Father will lead our sweet family where he wants us to be. I loved my job when I worked there from 2005 to 2007. I'm older now and I have experienced alot, so if this job happens for me I am definitely taking care of it. Then maybe I can buy me a new camera :) and pay my college debts.
      On the flipside I've been thinking about making a "Bucket List." There are alot of things I want to accomplish as a person but as a mom. I want to be good at doing lots of things and I want invest my down-time on something benefiting. So here is my right now list:

• I want to learn to sew. Why? Because I want to sew Brooke curtains, I want to make cute shirts (inspiration from a friend on FB who makes the cutest shirts for her girls) and towels, etc. Sewing is a wonderful trait to have and is definitely benefiting. 
• Making home-made tortillas. I know they're not all healthy for you but Jason loves them and let's not forget, my boys are skinny and have little problem pooping. So I really don't think tortillas will be that horrible for them, besides Brooke and I love them. :)

• I want to become a better reader. I started right now, tonight, reading Tim Tebow's memoir. So far it is already wonderful and inspiring. I'll start Melanie's book right after this one. I want to lead my kids in good example and hobbies. So reading is a must too.

• Wow, I can't believe it's so short! I'll have to think more tomorrow because right now I really need to work on resting. So Juno it is!! -Kayla 

     

Sunday Funday

 Today Jason is working the 12 hour shift, so it's been a pretty bumming day. You know with the time change and losing an hour I actually managed to be exactly on time for church today!! I couldn't believe it, I guess I do better with losing time than gaining it. I woke up feeling crabby though. My head was hurting and I either need a new bed or I need to go to the doctor because I wake up almost every morning feeling like I've been working out intensely the day before. It's not normal and I really don't like waking up like that all of the time. My headache still hasn't gone away today even after taking 2 ibuprofen...it simmered it but it didn't fully get

rid of it. Anyways, Taylor and I left church after sacrament being that he was the only one I was going to have in nursery and I felt like my blood was boiling and I felt dizzyish. I was able to squeeze in about a good hour of laying down and dozing in and out of sleep. Mr.Taylor wouldn't let mommy nap today. So Kellie invited Brooke tonight to go to their family Sunday dinner and during that time the boys and I decided to go eat at Sonic. They were going nutts that we were eating inside the car! We took a little drive afterwards and just passed time. I ordered Taylor a hamburger because he is our only one left to try and train to eat hamburgers! The boy tore it up! He loved it and I know Jason is going to be excited to hear that Taylor ate a whole cheeseburger! Brooke and Tyler eat strictly chicken nuggets or strips and it drives us crazy sometimes. Taylor is laying here beside me knocked out and when he looks so peaceful and content, protected it makes me forget how hard it seems sometimes during the day to keep him calm and not whining or crying. I guess this goes for all of the kids. I've been struggling with Brooke and trying to teach her to honor whatever decision we make. She never seems to accept any answer we give her regarding anything. I know I am wrong because I don't always speak kindly to her or softly but it drives me mad when she always thinks that she has to have someone over everyday to play with. I really just need to gather exactly what bothers me most and I think it's the fact that she isn't being respectful. Example, it is spring break week and Kendra asked me to watch Kyra. Brooke got the impression that Kyra was going to be here the whole week, but Kendra called me tonight and told me she wouldn't be coming until Thursday and Friday..Brooke has asked me so many times already when is Kyra coming. I believe if I have already told her Thursday and Friday once that she shouldn't keep on asking me. Call me strict but I just don't like being asked the same thing over and over again.  To make this situation more frustrating she then threw a fit about being bored all spring break because she isn't going to have anyone to play with!!! ;/ Challenges of motherhood. I pray it gets better, I pray to be more kind and I pray for Heavenly Father to strengthen my love and relationship will Brooke, Tyler and Taylor. I enjoyed this Sunday and I wanted to blog it. :)

Blessing's with PePaw

 I feel really blessed that we are able to live with my dad, especially for more reasons that one. My main reason (blessing) is that the kids will have a memory of their grandpa, a relationship. Something I never had with either of mine. Here are some pictures that I was able to take. The top one was when my dad was watching Full Metal Jacket and had the volume at like 60! and yet him and Taylor bother managed to knock out while watching it. The bottom one is of Taylor just clinging to his grandpa while grandma Barbara was visiting! It's fun to watch the kids with their grandparents! I love it.

Texas Public School Week 2012

So it was Texas Public School week last week (and I still don't know exactly what that means) and the kids made paper-mache cows to celebrate it, I'm assuming. They were supposed to be like the cows around Plainview that were decorated according to their sponsors. They're EVERYWHERE! So Brooke decorated her's with her daddy's work, Azteca Milling and yes she drew a corn! She then put Cargill representing Uncle Trenton and beef, a blue bonnet and some other girly things. I was really impressed on how well she painted her cow. Kyra did awesome too! I did help or I did paint their cows white for them. Brooke helped me more than Kyra because Kyra was more interested in playing basketball outside with Jason, Trenton and Jennifer. I didn't mind helping her though. I'm glad we were able to get the cows done before Monday! Brooke's teacher Mrs.Marks had Cooter's brother Mikael come and be their auctioneer. I bought a little girls cow that is in Brooke's class for a $1000! Yup, it was fun. Then on Thursday Jason and I went to eat with Tyler at his kindergarten frito pie cook off. It was fun and my favorite part was the Dr.Peppers and grapefruit. Tyler insisted that Jason and I both be there, so luckily my mom was able to watch Taylor while we went. I would've loved to take Taylor with us but he just doesn't sit still and he wants everything his brother has. So we thought it would be best to leave him so we could enjoy Tyler's meal.  I had a really great time and I love whenever I am able to be there for Brooke and Tyler when they have these type of things going on. I sure hope I get better at! Especially eating lunch with them. I really need to do that more. Anyways here are the pictures.

Brooke and I at Edgemere's 2nd grade Steer Auction. It was totally cute and exciting!

Kyra with her precious piece of Art.

The girlfriends! Brooke, Kyra, Lexi, Layla and Ivoree.

Tyler and I at his "What I love about Texas" lunch.

Jason with Tyler. I love the boys! Taylor was absent, but he was having a blast with grandma Josie!

I thought this sign was awesome cute! I think they did it in Pre-K too!

Sketchy lunch....and Tyler didn't eat. I think I would of preferred it in a bowl.

Catching Up

    I feel like I haven't blogged in forever or I don't blog enough. There is so much going on in our lives all at once. So I'll use this post to catch up on everything, but totally off the topic; I still cannot figure out how to get my blog looking the way I want it too! Bleh! So first is first, Sunday evening my Tia Maria brought my grandma Barbara over to visit us. I must say she looks amazing for 85 years old! Her birthday was February 20th and I wish we grew up closer to her and had a chance to get to know her better, but unfortunately we didn't. Actually the only grandparent I grew up really knowing and spending a lot of time with was my grandma Lita (Manuelita) my mom's mom. Like I said though, my grandma Barbara looks amazing and I know she is amazing. She has over come so many obstacles in her life that she inspires me. My dad tells me stories about her life and how she was always looking and reaching out to care and nurture people. She has over come sickness and surgeries in her life that shows her strength. I know my dad loves his mom more than words can probably express, but I think my dad has a hard time allowing himself to express his emotions. I wish he would try harder to do that for his mom, sister and family but it is his own choice to do so. I just pray that no one will ever doubt his love for them, especially Maria. We are not loving if we doubt others feelings. I'm really glad that Maria brought her to see us, it shows a lot of great character about her.
    Secondly: So I have decided that it is in the best interest of Brooke to permanently terminate Brian's parental rights and to proceed in Jason's adoption for her. I have prayed hard about this and it has taken me over 8 years to come to this decision. I know though that Brian will only disappoint Brooke if I allow him to keep coming in and out of her life and never once explaining to her what he is and what he does. It's will only confuse her, and she has already told me herself that she doesn't want to go with Brian and she wants to stay with us. It's exhausting ever thinking he would ask or expect to take her during spring break, summer-time or any other holiday. During this last phase/stage I have given him the benefit of the doubt but he is apparently going back to his old ways and old girlfriends who only cause friction in our co-parenting (whatever existence our co-parenting is that is). So I stopped talking to him completely and I have an appointment Tuesday with an attorney. People move on and I know Heavenly Father blessed me with Jason for a reason, he is our daddy and our provider and we're working on our protector. :)
    Thirdly: I had an interview this morning at the Wal-Mart DC center her. The position is for order-processing/order-filler. It is something I think I may be capable of doing, but I am nervous about the schedule. It would be a definite blessing if I do get offered a position that would be Tuesday-Friday morning shift. If however I do get offered a second shift position or weekend position that I may just try it out. I worry about the kids though and the life-style change they will have to adjust to. I'm not going to stress it to much though because I am not obligated to take the job and I will not do anything to jeopardize their feelings. :) So this isn't the worst situation that could over take my mind, that is for sure.

    Nothing really has changed in my life. Thank goodness. Jason and I hit a little itch in our marriage a few weeks ago, but it's getting better. We're in this marriage to win it and it is going to take a lot of work and practice from one another. Luckily with our love and commitment I know we'll get through this. We have so much on us, me looking for work, Jason wanting to provide more and not really having the opportunity. What helps me get through these challenges is focus. I know that we are doing what we need to do. We're keeping our marriage and our family in tact and that is what Heavenly Father is wanting us to do. I am at peace where we are at and it's an over all circle of help and endurance. My dad helps us, we help him, I stay home with the kids and they have security in life and eventually Jason and I will stand on our own. It's a sacrifice that I am willing to make for Brooke, Tyler and Taylor because they deserve the BEST!!! - Kayla :)

    

Best Decision Ever

Brooke was baptized this past Saturday (February 25, 2012). I know that this is in fact the best decision she will ever make in her life. My Faith and trust in her is beyond what any mother could have in her child. I know that she will face many challenges, trials and tribulations in her life, but I pray that she will always turn to our Father in Heaven to guide her through them. To seek towards the perfection of Jesus Christ. To love and serve to others in need without expecting anything in return. Brooke is so amazing. She keeps our family focused, she keeps me focused of all. I know I am not the mother she probably deserves, but I do try so hard. I do pray for her every night, to be a shining example, to be nice to friends at school, to remain strong with the standards of the Gospel. I know her choosing to be Baptized will strengthen her Spirit. I trust that God is working with our family and I hope I don't fail them. I love you Brooke, and Mommy is so proud of this Loving Decision you made. You brought our family together and I know you'll always work at keeping us together, my Angel.

I know this picture will mean the world to Brooke when she is older. I know it will for me.

This is Us. Our Family.

Sweet Brooke and Sweet Tyler

I wanted to upload some pictures of Tia Jennifer and Uncle Trenton with us as well, but my files aren't working right. I'll do it in another blog. :)

Let the conversation hearts pour!!

I have been the not so best blogger here lately. For some reason I feel so busy, or busier than I'm used to. I told Jason the other day that I don't know if it's having a third child or what, but I am tired every night when it's time for bed. I remember when we lived in the Plainview apartments and in Houston I was a night owl and always full of energy and spunk. Now a days I barely stay awake for Jason to come home from the 2nd shift at work so him and I can visit about our afternoons/evenings. So yup, I am a tired mommy. :) Valentines was 2 days ago and it was pretty interesting. Jason was actually off that day (something that RARELY happens because his work schedule usually conflicts) and I was all set and ready to make this a "date-worth" Valentines day for the both of us. HA! Little did I know that I am not in control. I should of figured that being Valentines Day and being that most everyone has already gotten their income tax return in Plainview, that every nice (limited amount) of restaurants would be packed by 6 o'clock pm!! I really wanted to eat dinner at Tokyo's but unfortunately their waiting period was 45 minutes to an hour. We had planned on going to the movies after dinner to watch "The Vow." So 45 minutes to an hour wasn't going to work for us. So we ended up eating at The Cotton Patch. I was so excited we finished dinner at 7pm because the movie started at 7:20pm. We get to the movies and in line to only be told they're sold out!!! Oh I could of just thrown a fit for reals!! I was soooo bummed out that my date with Jason didn't go as planned. :'( Mostly because it's not often that we are able to celebrate occasions like this. We did end up going to the Brew together, it was Jason's first time, and we had nice conversation and snacks. I was happy, and at the end of the night I knew it turned out just perfect. Earlier that day the kids had their Valentines parties for the classes. Man is that not some work!! I really was impressed with Tyler's classroom party because the momma's went all out! They had the cafeteria tables decorated with cute Valentines stuff and plate arrangements for each kid with their name on it! I loved it and the snacks were pretty rewarding themselves. I took 24 chocolate covered strawberries and I wish I would've snatched one up but I didn't have a chance to. Taylor was being pretty ornery and trying to take Tyler's candy, cupcake and food. So Jason and I were pretty flustered with little Bruiser. Tyler seemed to of enjoyed it though and that's all I need to be content and happy. Brooke's classroom had banana splits and they played some cool, fun games. She decorated a milk jug for her Valentines "bag" and I thought it was stinkin cute! Over all I think we had a pretty successful day participating in Brooke and Tyler's classroom parties. That is all that matters to me, is that Jason and I are just there for them. Supporting them. Gosh I wish we could be perfect parents, but I know we never will be. All we can do is strive to live towards the perfect example Christ gave us. It all boils down to living for our Savior and seeking the blessings that come with.  I love my Jason, my Brooke, my Tyler and my Taylor and I don't need Valentines day to be the only day I show them. :)

Tyler with the masterpiece we worked on together :)

The table setting that the mom's made for the kids. I really appreciated their desire to make the party this lovely.

Taylor eating the fruit kabob I had to give him to keep from eating Tyler's.

Brooke's little desk with some treats that she was given. :)

Brooke's Jug-Bug for Valentines. LOVE IT.

My sweet lady <3 Mommy loves you always and forever. Today and Tomorrow.

Brooke playing the stacking game with conversation hearts. She did excellent!!

Mr.Tyler decorating his sugar cookie that the moms made.