Trials and Tribulations..

• Trials and tribulations...this title post says it all. We have so many in life whether it's a financial, family or health circumstance, we have them. Decisions always to be made and even learning from making the wrong decision. Tribulation: a state of great trouble or suffering. This is the definition of tribulation that I googled (because I didn't really know for sure it's definite meaning). Now the word "suffering" is scary to me. I don't like thinking I suffer or my kids or loved ones at that...but when I think of it in another perspective, the conclusion I can come up with is that we all suffer without confiding, worshiping and trusting our Savior and Heavenly Father. Last night I had the hardest time sleeping, at first I was just spooking myself out and then when I finally did seem to fall asleep I woke up with a very painful dry nose!! I was so bothered by this! So, I just prayed. I prayed that Heaven;y Father please help me find a way to sleep comfortably, to help my eyes, nose and throat to where they wouldn't hurt as bad. I trusted him and he helped me sleep. He gave me peace even in prayer, even as I did just lay there thinking I may not sleep at all..or that my nose wouldn't get better, I was at peace. I knew that it would pass, eventually. I pray for blessings for our home, for the kids and for myself. I should probably pray more for others because I know so many people who need it, and that's what life is all about. Trials: test, experiment, try, proof, examination or probation. These are the synonyms given for trials. I didn't really think the definition goes with what I am posting about. How can I apply trials to my feelings? Well, first of all test is a good start. I have been tested (trialed) alot here lately. I have failed several, I know this for a fact. But I know I can always learn from it. Remembering how I didn't feel good failing. For instance, yelling at the kids to much in the day, cursing to much, judging, gossiping..not reading my scriptures. All of these things make me unhappy. Because I know by doing these things I will not feel the blessings that come with not doing them. It is so hard sometimes, but I know I need to work on them. I really hope I can even start now! I know there will be a lot of people I will not get along with, but I can love them. I know there will be plenty of times that I will yell at the kids or curse...but I can still pray to stop. I know there will be plenty of times that I will not feel good or one of the kids will be sick, but I can pray for comfort. I know that I can always turn to my Father in Heaven to help me over come these trials and tribulations. To help direct me to being the woman, mother, sister, friend, cousin, grand-daughter I am born to be. To show me light when I am down and dark...he has been so faithful to me in the beginning of time. Faithfully bringing me out of PPD after having Brooke to here recently calming my fears about being put to sleep. He is so Faithful and merciful for all his children. I am a child of God, for he has sent me here..I love this primary song because it is so softly said and true. I just really want to make a New Years Resolution that isn't so shallow (like losing weight or buying some material thing). I want to be a better Servant of God. I want to strive to live the gospel to it's fullest. Ministering to others and serving! I really want to feel the love and blessings that come with by doing so! I want to teach my kids more strongly and powerful of Jesus and our Father and I want to make Family home evening a priority. I want to be the best Latter-Day Saint I know I can be! This all was weighing heavy on me tonight, so I needed to document it before I forget. :)) My prayer list:
• For health and protection for the kids and my family
•  To receive guidance in what decisions Jason and I need to make regarding Tyler's education.
• To know whether or not it's time for me to start looking for work, or to continue staying at home with the kids.
• My grandmother's health.
• Brandie in her time of grief. For Heavenly Father to wrap his arms around her and to allow the Spirit to be strong in her presence every day as she tries to make a step forward and tries to adjust to her new normal.
• To humble my heart to Brian and his family and Jason's as well. For I know they know what they do.
• My chest to quit aching and nose to be ok tonight.
• For me to be a good example and to make Jason's parents visit nice flowing and cheerful.

• To give thanks for my kids and family and friends. For the church and it's teachings, missionaries who dedicate 2 years of their lives to serve others....

I think this is all I can think of right now, but I am sure more will come as I pray! Love- Kayla Xxo