Silly phrases the kids are using

Oh how I love being entertained by these cute little people of mine. They each have their own personality (the boys may have very similar personalities and humor though) and they each say very witty things! I'll just start with Brooke and end with Taylor :))

Brooke:
"my brain has files in it. I keep up with you, Tyler, Taylor, daddy, Pepaw, grandma, Tia and Sadie. I know all y'alls medical problems" (this is just so genius of Brooke. What brought it up was when Tyler went to the doctor a few months ago for fever, he had ear infections. Dr.Watkins explained to me all the complications that come from nasal allergies and how it leads to ear infections. Tyler went to the doctor this past Wednesday and has double ear infections. Brooke totally remembered this and called me out. That is when she told me about the "files" in her brain! LOVE IT)  

Tyler:
 "jingle butt jingle butt" then he goes into some random mix of words after that...but his humor is much appreciated most of the time. 

"daddy you can live with me when I move to Lubbock" (and yes I am invited as well as the whole family" 

Taylor:
We went to wal-mart this afternoon to buy the stuff to make caldo..and I knew he was getting hungry and low on blood sugar, so I bought him some of the popcorn chicken...and he now refers to it as "wal-mart chicken"!! I love it. He calls Tyler "thatho" and he catches on to everything we say! 

 I must say I am very happy with these little ones of mine!
 

The blessings of the gospel

So I have tried blogging for two days in a row now. I have either been distracted by the kids or have fallen asleep, to only wake up and totally forget what I was blogging about or remembering how I worded things (obviously not saving it as a draft). Today is going pretty smooth. I managed to wake up on time to get Brooke and Tyler fully bathed and ready before Jason got home from work. PePaw took the day off from work to rest and recover from a physical stressful week of overtime and crew work. I think he made a good choice. :)) So that means for me that Taylor is entertained by his Pepaw, which gives me some "me-time." I've been doing a little soul searching this week trying to really figure out why some things bother me about people. Not just general people, but people I am close to. I would much rather not disclose names because I do hope others read this blog one day, especially Jason and the kids. Since joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I have built a testimony of this gospel. A testimony so true from Jesus that it has changed my life tremendously. From understanding the word of wisdom, to feeling the blessings from being obedient to not eating, drinking or smoking the things that God has asked us to steer away from. My mind is at peace, a peace that I struggled for year to gain. Now, don't get me wrong there are days and times that this peace is clouded, but through prayer and blessings from the missionaries I have over come those cloudy times. That doesn't mean that my future has no more cloudy days, it means that my faith in Heavenly Father is all trusted into him because I know he will pull me through it. Because of that I love and cry out to him often. Not always tears of sorrow and sadness, but of joy and thanks. This is important to me. He has been so clear with me and I have understood him fully. I know that I must be like him if I want happiness in my life, and for my family. I pray and talk to God alot about humbling my heart to family and friends who have offended me deeply, who have said hateful things about my mothering and my children (and trust me, this has happened! Especially to my children), who have judged me and have been so mean!! I do believe I have forgiven them on my part, and I do believe that I am choosing the right by keeping them away from my family. People with rude intentions, hateful intentions will not bring the spirit with them, therefore most likely crashing mine! So that is exactly why we do not see or go around Jason's family in Hale Center. I believe that if Jason's mom can get over things, strong situations, and come to our home and pick up where we once left off  (years ago) that his grandma and cousin are capable of doing so to. They just choose not to, and that is beyond my concern or worry. I just want my kids to know why their mom made this decision. His grandma came to some silly choice to not like me and dwell on it, which is soo dumb to me. She thinks I locked her out of the house one day when Misty brought her by to visit and anyone who knows me..knows I wouldn't do that. Casey walked in behind me for crying out loud! But like I said, that is so silly and beyond understanding. Anyways, eventually his granny began to buy only the boys presents and not Brooke. That is a BIG NO NO in my book. She will not be allowed in this family if she cannot treat all of the kids equally. Any mom would agree. So Word! And Misty just has a nasty attitude and made a huge chaotic scene at wal-mart one time when Jason and I went to get Tyler's medicine. She hasn't changed so she is a scratch off too, I cannot surround myself around just nasty women. Long story short, I just remain in faith of the Lord and that the spirit is guiding me and  I am doing what is right. Which I am at peace with not being close to the family in Hale Center and with my own in Dallas. Sometimes it's easier to appreciate people you aren't involved with. This doesn't mean I hate them or wish bad upon them. It means that I am protecting myself and the security in this family of mine and Jason's. Our family is the only one we have control over. So they are my top priority. I have these problems all around me and I just allow myself to follow and listen to what the spirit tells me. Relationships have been strengthened for me. So I know God is watching out for me and mine. This includes friends to. I am beginning to understand and realize where my friendships should be a remain. It isn't easy, but I just know it's what's best. In closing, I just know that I am where I am supposed to be. The kids are where they are supposed to be. We are all being taught the truth and so man great things are going to happen in my marriage with my children and hopefully with my family. Taylor is now eating a snack, so that means my mind is clouding again!! Till next time.

Halloween is creepin' up on us!!

"Tyler, smile pretty!!"

Yesterday we started our hopeful new tradition of carving pumpkins. Brooke is really into doing stuff like this, getting together as a family and doing activities. I didn't really have experiences like this growing up, which is even more reason why I want do things like this with the kids. I was definitely worried about the mess it could maybe make and the kids being disappointed with their jack-o-lanterns, but with the help of uncle Trenton and myself the whole night was a success!! Tyler loved his bat (go figure haha), Brooke loved her cat and I took bragging rights of my headless horseman! The clean-up was simple and I had tons of help from Jenn and Trent! I'm learning to just ease up on my "controlling" factor and to just enjoy the times like these with the

"Smile for the camera Brooke"

kids, because it is so worth it in the end. I think I seem to think to much about messes, etc. I hope I continue to just ease up some more. It's worth the change and it's worth saving the stress for everyone and myself. I can't express how much of a good time yesterday was. 

 Next project is Christmas cards. :)) I love these pictures so much of the kids having a great time. Even though Tyler wouldn't take the seeds out of the pumpkin, he wouldn't even put his hands in the pumpkin! Silly kids.

Uncle Trenton taped on his outline

Brooke having a good ole' time sticking her hands in the pumpkin

Trenton did awesome helping with the kids and their pumpkins

Little bit was obviously fascinated with everything

I liked this one of Taylor watching along

One of those days...

Wow! What a day today has been. I love how when the day turns to night and things seem to slow down, how I can kind of overview I guess you would say the events in that day. You know, it's just that..."that day." I really haven't had much sleep the past two days, day one being because I scared myself with some silly little situation that happened at Brooke's school, which I might add didn't phase Brooke ONE BIT...but yet kept me up until 3:30am! Second being that Brooke's asthma was pretty worry some during the night, which means I slept as if I just brought home a new born baby. Things are looking up though and that's what mainly is important. I took Brooke to the UMC clinic where grandma Josie works and the PA ordered her a shot (I'm assuming some sort of steroid for the inflammation in her passageways) in the bum. ::Sigh:: Yes, we had to argue with her to just let grandma give her the shot. :(( Finally we got it done, and it turned out to be nothing. Brooke even thought she was kind of silly for being so dramatic about getting a shot. Brooke is doing a whole lot better and this to shall pass. After leaving the clinic we swung by the house to scoop of Jason to go with us to get some McDonald's for lunch. It's crazy because right as we were finishing up lunch my uncle Ray and his son little Ray showed up at our door! I was surprised because I did not expect to see them. I guess my dad's side of the family is pretty unpredictable. Ironically PePaw happened to stop by the house to get his work shirts to drop off at the cleaners and he saw that Ray was here. He was definitely happy to see his brother. It warmed my heart to see them hugging so genuinely, makes you realize and refocus about what's really important in life. Pepaw took them to Furr's for dinner, and not so surprising they are at the bar. :(( It's not something I want him doing, but he is my dad and I have to just keep my opinions to myself. I just wish people would see that those choices are poor, and almost always nothing good comes from choosing to hang out at a bar. I just pray they come home safely and that I can minister to my dad when it's over with. Now back to my choatic night. I ended up with Kyra and Averyn joining the group and Tia Jennifer ordered pizza for us. There was definitely a lot of yelling on my part, :'( obviously I am not happy about that. At those times it seems so hard for me to just not be angry with my kids for fighting and telling. Brooke cried over and over because either Kyra was ignoring her or that Kyra wouldn't play what she wanted to play...and I am sure many more things. I had to just get myself together and asked God to just PLEASE help me communicate with Brooke calmly. I then grabbed her softly by the arms and explained to her that no one wants to play with a little girl who is crying over and over again about small things. I sent her to her room and told her to get herself together and then come out when she can be calm. This however took more than once. Eventually we got it back to normal and the girls calmly played, even if it was different things. Kyra watched TV and Brooke played with her baby dolls sitting beside me in the recliner. On the flip side, Taylor is fighting his sleep, Jason just got home and the little guy is still awake! It's been a long, long 2 days!!! :O But over all it's so funny how even though I have these hard days with the kids, I still very much wouldn't change it for anything else. I love these kids, I want to be the one caring and loving on them, even if it's me yelling at them to quiet it down (totally contradicting) or me just breathing in the peace that we so rarely get when the house is full. I love it, I honestly love it. There are things I want to change, I want to have more patience when it gets loud and none of the kids are minding me, I want to play more with them and set aside cleaning or picking up. I want to be their memories. <3 So I will have a serious talk tonight with Heavenly Father about what he needs me to do to better mother these kids. I want to be like him, HE is the one I care most about. I do NOT want to fail him. Sure hope I'm not. -xoxo

Simply Amazing :)

Today was my parent-teacher conference with Ms.Stevens, and it went so good. She went over her grading curriculum and just kind of gave Jason and I a blue print on how and why she will grade their school work from now on. His coloring is improving beyond my words can express, his counting and pronunciation are improving as well. Over all, Tyler is progressing wonderfully in kindergarten and I am just so happy to hear this! Ms.Stevens didn't have any complaints or major concerns for Tyler and that alone has put my heart at ease. My little man is growing up! I just think he's so wonderful. I thank God for these kids everyday! They definitely bring light to my world, although most days bring struggle to bring peace between these kids, and I may yell at them many times a day, and I am constantly correcting them..you know, I wouldn't change any of it for the world. This is my life, and this is what Heavenly Father had planned for me, and I am glad I know my purpose in this life. Now, I am just taking it in stride! Taylor is doing awesome too, I ask him to say his name and he says "Tator!" It's the cutest thing ever, his talking is getting better by the day! Now it's my goal to teach him to have a clean mouth! Our family (The Parks) seem to have a weird sense of humor, and I think I need to clean it up a little. :/ We seem to say out of the norm kind of things, and I know it's not appropriate so I plan on talking about it with Jason tonight when he gets home from work. I think more of it's directed towards Tyler, but Brooke can jump in on it from time to time. But we do need to just change it up, we seem to get caught up in having a good time with the kids, forgetting our responsibility in teaching them right and wrong. Oh the duties/responsibilities of parents. :)) Brooke is doing great too, we had a little meltdown at dinner tonight. I cooked spaghetti and she just had a fit about it. She asked me to fix her tuna, but I told her no. I just am getting fed up with always having to make different things for her if she doesn't like what I fix. So it's a battle I'm going to have to fight against her. I messed up though because I told her I wasn't going to fix her anything else since she didn't eat her dinner, and the only thing I would allow her to have was water. Well then Brittani called and invited us over for cookies, so we went and Brooke ate some!! Gggrrr to forgetting that I told her I wasn't going to allow her to having anything else!! Today was such a great day, the weather was great, Jason is working 3-11 which allows me to have the mornings with him (more like I get sleep later than normal) we went to Tyler's parent/teacher conference, went to wal-mart after with Taylor and came home to fix spam sandwiches and just relaxed the rest of the day! It was nice to have this semi-cold weather and to just snuggle with the kids. At this moment, I am so happy with my life. My husband, my family, my church, every blessing that I'm feeling from Jesus by trying my best to choose the right, to live the gospel, obeying the word of wisdom, reacting and not acting with people. It's so wonderful, the blessings within are wonderful. I'm so thankful for this gospel, for the restoration of Jesus's church, for our prophet, for the women of Relief Society, my sisters. I'm in love with life. <3 -Kayla

Communication

There are so many things going on right now, so I'm going to break it down in this post (more like venting). Brooke and Tyler are still doing so good in school right now. Tyler's handwriting is getting better by each passing day and Brooke was already tested for GT, so I'm just waiting to hear back from her teacher about her scores. Jamie and the family are doing well in Hawaii, as far as we are all concerned he won't be getting deployed and I am so happy to hear this news! I hated when he was in Afghanistan for his previous mission because that is where all the danger is. So I'm glad we get to keep him, and I'll for sure be praying that it stay this way the remainder of his serving in the Army. Jennifer and Trenton are still the same, and I pray that they continue to grow and mature together in their marriage. I guess I really had no choice but to mature so early on in life, being that I had Brooke when I was 16. My parents were and remained firm about me mothering her, which to this day I understand and am SO grateful for their decision to be that hard on me. It made me the mother I am today, and I know I am not the best mother to my kids, but I do love them and care about trying to better myself for them ultimately. Taylor is still crazy spoiled, but he is my baby and I don't mind giving myself to him throughout the day while his siblings are at school. I am relishing in these moments that I have with him. He is talking so good now and is wanting to do everything by himself! :( It makes me sad to think that my "baby" is no longer a baby. I'm 24 years old with my "baby" now being a toddler, this is my family and now I strive to grow close to them all and for us to always be united. That is my goal. Jason and I had a serious talk this afternoon before lunch because I think I finally hit that breaking point with him. First off, communication is KEY to having a successful marriage...well, I take that back...most marriages that have communication are most likely to succeed. Not all husbands and wives use communication productively in their marriages. Anyways, I sometimes as a wife feel so like I'm on autopilot in my marriage. Like this is all I am to Jason, and this is just how my life is going to be and end. As if I'm standing on my own, lifting my own weight along with carrying it. I cannot stand that feeling! I want that spark, that flame to always remain lit and burning ferociously with love and excitement. I am way to young to be feeling as if I'm in a 60 year old marriage!! Jason tends to make unpleasant jokes sometimes about other females, and it really does make me insecure. I get to thinking "does he find that other woman thinner and more appealing than myself?", primarily because I do have my own insecurities about my body image, and I could be most likely taking out my own insecurities on his jokes, which are very harmless. But, I did tell him how I need him to be and how I need him to just accept that I am sensitive and I need reassurance in my life, especially from him. The great thing about my husband is that I  know I am his everything, and I trust him that he will change in that aspect of our marriage. :)) He always changes when it's called for, he is a humbling spirit and I know this is what I needed to do. I needed to communicate with him about needing him to be just a little more romantic and protecting of me. My marriage with Jason started off very rocky and was a definite trial in life until after the birth of Taylor. When I first became pregnant with Tyler, we moved into an apartment together with Brooke. At that time, I had NEVER lived with a "boyfriend" and was even more scared because I had this little baby girl (Brooke) that I was allowing Jason to parent.  I knew though that we needed to do this because it was the right thing to do. We had good jobs and there was no reason on why we shouldn't become adults. During that whole year living in those apartment we were tested and trialed. There were a lot of disagreements, and even second-guessing between us to. But either way, we stayed committed to one another. We then decided together that moving to Houston with his parents would be good for us, because we for one would have them to help us with the kids, and secondly they said there were better job opportunities for us in the city. Little did we know we should have stayed in Plainview being that we already had good jobs. We then led to separating, me moving back to Plainview with just the kids. We were separated for 7 months!!! But then again, we always stayed committed. I really think we know we are for eachother. I then moved back to Houston, and we stayed there for a good 9 months before we decided that our home is in Plainview. So we moved back with Pepaw and we've just grown together. I just know he is the man I am supposed to grow old with. He is forgiving and loving with our family and kids. <3 Well the girls just came over and I'll finish up this thought later!! Kayla

Proud Momma!!

This came home in Tyler's folder Tuesday, and boy was I impressed!! This is the best coloring I have seen from him since school began. It really reassures me that he is going to do great in school! I'm so impressed with him and how much is he maturing in his work. His name is looking so good, he loves practicing with me and Jason with letter pronunciations and singing days of the week and months! I'm just so proud of him and what he's accomplishing as a kindergartner. <3 I just needed to blog this because for one it's worth digitally saving and I'm just having a proud momma high! -xoxo Kayla!!

Tyler,,,my love

My hero is doing so good in Kindergarten. He is singing his months of the year in order, he is writing his name so much neater, his coloring is improving so much!! His speech is becoming more clear, I have noticed. He isn't a morning person so much anymore, but it seems like he gets into the groove right before dropping them off at school. We decided to post pone the Sylvan program until early next year. Financially it is what's best for our family. We will have a huge debt paid off next year so we shouldn't have any problems making it work, and we really have seen so much improvement in Tyler's work. So I am at ease with this decision, and I know this is how it's supposed to be going right now. I'm allowing the spirit to guide me with these kids. :) I just needed to praise this little guy because his spirit makes my day bright. He comes home and does his homework willingly, he never fights it (as long as we remain patient with him). He still runs around the house all crazy with a blanket tied around him as his cape, he still wrestles Taylor all of the time until one of them starts crying, he still hums while we eat dinner, he still says "butt hole, underwear!!", and a series of other funny words, which I  don't mind because this is just Tyler, he is his father's son. I love all of this about him, his personality reminds me so much of Jason, and Jason is such a good independent man. So I know Tyler will be fine. If anything, I do want my boys to be like their father. Jason is amazing to our family, so anyone who thinks differently can turn right back around and go back to where they came from! :D The kids are all doing great and I am one content, happy mother. :)-xoxox I LOVE YOU TYLER!!! You Rock Mommies World Sweet Boy!

our October evening....

This is the best picture I could of the kids together. Tyler looks awesome!! hahaha

Monkey Man

 Yes, my little family is wild! Jason was sweeping the driveway this afternoon and the boys rode around on their bikes while he did swept. Brooke and I saw them outside having a blast, so we joined in on the fun. Taylor is getting better at pedaling on his bike, I got a cute video of him doing so. Brooke and Tyler of course fought of the 3 wheel bike, we need to buy them both new bikes asap!! Maybe Santa will be generous this year, MAYBE. :)) Jason decided to climb trees, and his hair is beautiful as well as himself. <3 I love this man.

He is my everything.

We had Burger King and Taco Bell to finish off this wonderful, breezy afternoon of spending time together. I'm loving this whole laid back lifestyle so much.

The Boys!! I love them much!!

 Brooke helping daddy.

Brew date with my lady

 This evening I promised Brooke a date at the Brew. She knows I go to the Brew alot with Emilie and she was curious to see what it's all about. Our deal was if she was good and obedient for a whole week I would reward her with a date to the Brew. Brooke did awesome with her behavior for a whole week. We did have meltdowns here and there, but over all she was a pretty easy child. :)) It was fun to see her reaction when seeing the Brew for the first time. I don't know why, but I guessed she envisioned like a Palazzo Hotel scenario or something, because she was like "this is the Brew (in a shocked way)?? haha..I explained to her that alot of Wayland students come here to study or hang out with friends while drinking hot chocolate and enjoying baked goodies. It was no nice to have this time with her. To see the look on her face of pure happiness, by just being with me was so rewarding to myself!! She is such an amazing little girl, who I just know will get far in life.

 We talked about Math, friends from school (which was pretty much her telling me about the drama on the playground), what she wants to be for Halloween and the Plan of Salvation. She told me about her friend Layla's grandmother dying of a heart attack, and she asked me why we die. I explained to her that Jesus probably stopped Layla's grandma's heart to bring her to him in the spirit world. That dying pretty much just means we leave our bodies to move onto the spirit world, we never lose who WE ARE. Then I briefly went over the Plan of Salvation with her. This was nice to re tune myself with the gospel and our eternal plan. I got to take advantage of this topic and

 tell her at the same time to always try and be the example. That if we are nice and obedient we can display our Christianity to those who haven't been saved, that we must lead by example. I know she is only 7 years old, and will have many challenges in life being a latter-day-saint, but I believe by me telling her these things and living it myself will build her touchstone, her foundation of our covenants with our Heavenly Father. I am not perfect and I do not always have a clean mouth, but I do obey what I have promised my Father in Heaven. I pray for forgiveness of my weaknesses and I pray for strength.

 Brooke mentioned to me that she doesn't like seeing her uncle Trenton, Daddy and Pepaw drinking beers, that it is wrong and they aren't living the word of wisdom..this was also another great opportunity to help her see what a worldly life is about. I explained to her that we love Trenton, Daddy and Pepaw and that we must pray for them. That there are going to be people in our lives who we love dearly that are going to do things we don't agree with, but it definitely doesn't mean we have to choose to do it either. I grew up a Church of Christ member, and in this church they have no word of wisdom, they live by worldly people's instruction, not the instruction of our prophets. So alot of people haven't accepted the word of wisdom because they may have not been taught it or they just don't allow the spirit to guide them. I really hope that having these talks with her will help her choose the right in the future. Drinking and smoking and all other habits of the world cause us to be prisoners. I pray so much for my children to follow this gospel, because they choose to, because they have faith in the blessings that come with being obedient. People now a days are so blinded by the blessings that come from living a pure life that they mistake brief joy as blessings, only to be stoned with grief and regret after the high crashes. I do not judge these people, for I was once them. But the pain that I caused myself and most of all my husband was a very hard obstacle to over come. However, by the Atonement of Jesus Christ I was able to fully repent of my sins, and it is now as if it never happened. That is how we are supposed to feel when we truly repent of our sins. So it was nice to have this conversation with Brooke tonight, I hope we can have alot more of them in the future. We also talked about Brian. I asked Brooke how did she feel about her daddy (Jason) adopting her. She said she didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I explained to her that this isn't going to hurt anyone's feelings. That there are lots of children who are adopted into wonderful families, and that she is lucky to have Jason and me. I told her about the story of Brie Gomez and how Jesus called her to heaven while her kids are still small. I told her that God has a plan for us and we need to trust him, but at the same time our family is somewhat different, and that I wanted to take care of her on this earth in case Jesus calls me to Heaven before her. I asked her if I were to go to Heaven before her, where would she want to go, and she said she wants to stay with her daddy and brothers. This itself answered my question. I know Jason and I need to legalize Jason as her primary legal guardian along with myself (which I already am). Jason has been raising her since she was practically 7 months!! She is a Parks for sure!!! So we will soon begin this journey as our financial situation enables us to. I accomplished so many things tonight with Brooke while on this date. We will for sure continue going on these dates as her behavior permits. I am so grateful for this, I can't express how content I am with her. <3 He is amazing in all his promises!! Xoxo - Kayla

A Honor Roll..and thoughts today

Today was Brooke's A Honor Roll Assembly. I am so proud of my lady, she was one out of the 13 kids who made this award. I really hope I don't push her to hard, it's just I know what she is capable of. As her mom, I cannot settle for less. One day she will appreciate it, she definitely doesn't understand now, she seems to think we ask more of her than her brothers, but she is the older sibling which means her help is expected more. I remember when I was little I was very sentimental just like Brooke. I needed my mom's love constantly. If I saw her showing love to Jamie or Jennifer, I would get soo jealous and then write her a letter about my feelings. Brooke DOES this and it sadness me so much. :(( It really hurts me to think my baby girl misses me and says other people take time away from her. I wish she could understand that this isn't the case at all, that when I do go out to the Brew, it usually is when they all should be sleeping..ugh. It's so much to handle. I went to the Brew a few nights ago with Emilie, and we went pretty late (because of course we have to make sure our babies are tucked in and ready for bed) well when I got home Brooke had written me a very emotional letter. She said she didn't feel any love from Jason and I, that I am either cleaning or taking care of Taylor and daddy is usually watching a movie or going to work. This tore me up!! I cried because this isn't how I want her to feel. On the flip side, I strongly believe I need nights like these to help refocus me. Life has been so busy for me since the beginning of summer, and I am not complaining, I just need some time for myself, and I believe I try to work around the kids so that they aren't missing out on me. I did talk to Brooke about it and I explained to her that "mommy needs alone time, it's not because I don't love being with you guys, but you should have been sleeping, and this wouldn't have bothered you so much. I understand you may want more alone time with me, and this can happen. You however need to have a good mouth with me and your daddy and obey us when we ask you to do something. Being obedient will allow me to reward you, and I'll reward you with our own trip to the Brew, but I cannot reward you for un acceptable behavior." I really hope she understands me, and I know more meltdowns are to come quickly, I just really want her to know I love her, but I have to raise her to be a respectable woman also, and I cannot allow her to talk back to me or Jason and not do the things we ask of her. I will not give in to this battle, this is best for her. We love her dearly and I believe that loving parents are the ones who don't give their kids everything. <3 Brooke is my everything, she is me!!! I really hope I get better at showing her my love, and spending more mommy time with her.

Blogging late on Taylor's 2nd B-day!

So we didn't throw a -huge- bash for Taylor's 2nd birthday. I really don't think it's necessary to make a big celebration for a 2 year old who stays at home all day with his mom. We had his cousin Kyra and Averyn here, along with his brother and sister. I personally think it's more intimate for us to celebrate this way. Trenton and Jennifer bought him the cutest clothes and books, grandma-Josie bought him some shoes, pants and shirts to wear to church (which he really needed) and his cousins bought him hot wheels. Jason and I were able to spend the whole day with him, we started off by eating breakfast burritos (I think) and just relaxed the rest of the day. It's a was very humble birthday for him, and we're thankful for having this precious baby boy (even though he is totally crying and complaining right now because he doesn't want to go to sleep.:/ I think I have a draft that I wrote about his birthday that I haven't published. I just needed to share his pictures while I still remember. :)) His cake was delicious, we bought it from Mrs.Kays bakery and I think it was more authentic than buying it from wal-mart. Something different and better I think. We enjoyed this day very much. :) But I better go because this baby isn't having it. :((

Prolonging Rash

So I noticed on a Friday (9/23) morning after bathing Taylor that he had a rash on his right wrist! It freaked me out! I had put on some hydrocortisone cream on it and hoped it would get better. I did call Dr.Turner's office and David told me that Doc was out of the office due to surgery! :( He told me to put Corona cream on it and if it didn't get better to take him to Dr.King at WTFM. So the next day it wasn't any better! I then took him to Dr.King on Tuesday and he told me it looked like a allergic contact reaction and prescribed me some cream. That night I had put the cream on Taylor's arm before he went to sleep and sure enough the next morning I wake up and his rash is raised and bright red! :'( I was so stressed thinking the worst and googling the worst. Luckily I had an appointment with Dr.Watkins for a follow-up that Thursday, so I asked him to look at the rash and to tell me if this was normal and if there is anything else that may need to be done (by this time the rash was slowly going up his arm and appearing on the left arm). Dr.Watkins pretty much told me that what I was doing already for Taylor was about all he would do as well, and to bring him in Monday morning if the cream didn't clear it up. I stressed and stressed about this rash EVERY day! I'm so grateful for Emilie to of put my mind at ease, to tell me to just to let it go. She told me that he has whatever he has, and as long as I'm doing what the doctors told me to do..then to not worry about it. It's been very hard to accept that I do worry more than I should and that I am not in control of my kids health to certain extents. I am however getting better, and I know I need to quit worrying as much as I do. Long story short, Doc came back this past Monday and I took Taylor in Tuesday. Diagnosis: Hand-foot-mouth syndrome. He has the rash a little on the top of his feet and on the palm of his hands. Luckily he doesn't have any sores in his mouth and hasn't run fever. This rash will take time to completely heal, but doc said it's harmless and that the incubation period is short and if anyone else is going to get it, they would have already showed signs. So I'm praying for everyone else to remain in good health. I pray even harder for the strength to take on whatever else may come my way. Tyler and Taylor are coughing, and it sounds like those coughs that worsen with time. The weather is changing crazily. It's hot one day and cold the next, which is perfect weather to make kids sick. I trust God though and I know he'll protect and provide for my family. We're blessed to have the insurance we have, the doctors who helps us and the family and friends to be supportive. Taylor's rash is still on his arm and breaking out on his leg some, but I take it that it's just part of it, because he sure isn't acting like it's bothering him. He is ALL OVER the place! I'll get it one day!! :)-xoxoxo

Edgemere Elementary "Open House" 9-29

Tyler standing in front of his seat in class. Notice his handwriting is very legit.

The infamous Family Tree. Their theme was "All About Me"

I noticed that Tyler's fingerprint tree was the neatest of them all. :))

Brooke's class made a little "Guess Who" game. We had to read the clues to guess which was our child.

The bestfriend named "Emilee" gave it away for me!!

Surprise, it's BROOKE!!

I love how she included the family in her autobiography!

Little man Taylor is going to get some recognition, The letters behind him are the ones I was talking about.

So here are the pictures that I took at the kids open house at Edgemere. This is a pretty late post, but it's all still fresh in my mind. I've had hardly any time for blogging. I feel like I set aside time everyday to blog, but then something usually takes up that time. Since everyone seems to be playing independently right now, I'll take advantage to catch up! :) Open house went really good. Jason and I got to look around Tyler's classroom, and Tyler was so excited to show us everything and explain to us how Ms.Stevens applies it to their lessons. Her room is super cute! Her lockers have foam letters of the alphabet all along them and Tyler was able to show me each letter and tell me their sign, along with a word that begins with that letter! I was so impressed and proud of him! Tyler's handwriting is so neat too! He is doing so well in school and I am so optimistic with his studies, especially now since we're going to invest in Sylvan for him, for sure for three months. Ms.Stevens praised his behavior and had very up lifting things to say about Tyler. My mind is put at ease knowing that he is learning well and getting along with the other kids. I worried about his social skills and hoped that he was making friends, and I believe he is doing great with the kids in his class, etc. Now for Miss.Brooke, she is doing AMAZING!! Mrs.Marks praised her as well! She said that Brooke is very motivated and determined in class. She focuses real well on her class work and is most of the time obedient. Brooke and the other little girls in her class can be chatty and sassy, and Mrs.Marks said she does have to separate them most of the time (which doesn't surprise me because Brooke is definitely a leader ad not a follower, and her leadership skills most oftenly come off as her being "bossy"). I talked to Mrs.Mahagan and she told me that she gives Brooke 4th grade worksheets in class and she does them well! My, was I impressed by this girl!! Brooke was given a reading assessment and she ready 117 words a minute!! Mrs.Marks said that they don't even expect but 97 words per minute for 3rd graders!! My lady is doing awesome!! I am over all content and proud of how Brooke and Tyler are excelling in school. It was a productive evening, and we finished it off by treating the kids with an ice cream from Dairy Queen. I hope I continue to lead the kids in the right direction as well as being there for support.

"Let It Go" approach

Today has been a pretty easy flowing day. It was General Conference (which I really hope to watch tomorrow  while the big kids are at school) so we didn't have church. Jason is working graveyard and he didn't get home until 11 this morning. It's so challenging for me when he is working this shift to have a good attitude. I guess I'm just stuck in a selfish mode. I feel like I have been caring for everyone for months now. I know this is what I am supposed to be doing, and I know blessings will come by doing so. But I guess I don't feel like anyone has gratitude towards me. My dad has made comments to me about working, or "not having a job" and it really offends me. I do so much in one day that I don't know how our home would be if I did work. I did slack this summer on cleaning, but I just didn't want to overwhelm myself, and not being a clean freak helped me enjoy the kids more. I then decided I would clean when school started, but Jason's accident happened so I need to focus on more important things. So this past week I actually got all my cleaning done, and I've maintained alot of it. :)) I feel myself slowly molding back into my routine, and I'm grateful for it. It's such a blessing to me to have this back. I know I am not in control of anything else, so I'm taking it one day at a time. Taylor's rash had been stressing me out all last week, and I think today is the first day I have actually just "let it go." I have done all that I can do for it, and I'm just waiting to take him to Doc in the morning. I tried hard to not allow myself to worry about the whole "contagious" concerns about it. If anyone is going to get it, I will just have to deal with it. It's literally the only option I have at this point. I really need to just take the whole "Let It Go" attitude towards many things/situations in my life. I am always stressing and worrying about things and people I cannot change. It takes a toll on my body, I felt like my heart was hurting this evening, I felt very panicky...I thought to myself "just breathe!!" I do not want to allow myself to get to this point. It's to much for me, and alot of it is because of myself. Jason is back to working his regular schedule, I feel like he doesn't show me that he appreciates me. Like, I just wish he would hug me when he sees me deep in thought, grab me and tell me everything is going to be ok when he sees me running around the house trying to clean or help one of the kids, instead of avoiding me and making annoying sounds, etc. But, I'm just going to have to let it go, and pray for him to understand me more. I'm going to have to really try to not act out on it. I tend to argue/fight with him when I try to bring all of this to his attention. Secondly, Jason and my dad tend to make comments like "well it's not like your working" or "you need to get a job"..and these comments confuse me! They make me think that maybe what I'm doing is wrong. As if me staying home isn't contributing to the family. I will stand my ground though that being home with the kids is the best decision for the kids. I think this one will be easy to let go! I love having the whole morning and afternoon with Taylor, he is my baby..my last child and I want to relish in these moments with him. I want to establish that bond with him that I have done with Brooke and Tyler. Third, I feel like I'm not doing my best at spending time with those I love most. Like my grandma Manuelita, she has been the only consistent grandmother in my life and I grew up so close to her, that it really disappoints me that I don't make a bigger effort to see her. I need to really prioritize my life. I have alot to work on, I just want my family to know I love them all, but right now I'm giving my all to my kids and home. I will though make more time and effort to visiting my grandma's. Back to #1...I was just thinking, Jason is probably going through the same emotions as myself. I  bet he feels like his life and time revolve around everyone else. This really probably is just a milestone in our lives. The kids are small, and they will grow up and move on with their own lives. This too will be a short season, so I hope to encourage Jason to go hand in hand with me through this beautiful journey. I hope these recent blogs aren't to choppy! I'm blogging late at night! More tomorrow...

Carrying to much..

Well my little baby Taylor has had a rash now for going on 7 days. :( I have taken him to the doctor twice and have been applying the cream that was prescribed to him for days now, but his rash seems to only be staying the same. Doctor Turner has been out of the office due to a recent neck surgery, but will be back Monday morning! Oh how I miss not having our pedi for the kids. I finally called Doc this afternoon because I noticed the rash showing up on the top of Taylor's feet. Doc is for certain it is most likely the hand-mouth-foot virus but still wants to see him first thing Monday morning. It is so much weight to carry on my shoulders not being able to help my  baby and still being over concerned about protecting everyone else from this (I believe Doc said it wasn't contagious). I talked with Emilie today and she said something that has stuck with me, "just let it go". This is so true, I need to let go and let God. I need to being praying constantly for Taylor's healing, and seek out a blessing. I carry to many unnecessary burdens and it's not healthy for me. I am however getting better at easing myself and I know I will eventually get to the point when I make time for myself not feeling so selfish. I am getting some tired, I'll finish this post tomorrow. LOVE xoxoxo