Well it's been 10 days since Jason was burned in a accident at work, and I can honestly say today is the first day that our lives felt "normal". I was able to leave Taylor with him for an hour so I could go with his parents to eat lunch with Brooke and Tyler. That was a BIG part for me, to be able to feel comfortable enough to leave Taylor with Jason. He is healing good and fast and we have an appointment on the 1st of September. I have learned alot through this whole ordeal and one of the most important lessons I have learned is to LET GO and LET GOD. I try not to think to much about that day getting a call from the ER telling me my husband had been burned at work and I needed to get there. I was so scared and confused. I don't know how I held myself together having no one in that ER unit to feel what I was going through. I managed though, and I managed to keep my family in order. It's exhausting and I am not in any way used to taking care of the kids by myself, but it's a lesson for me. I appreciate so much more the teamwork Jason and I have together. My precious husband never makes me care for our kids by myself, he is always there helping me with bathing them, feeding them, putting them to sleep...everything is basically 50-50 between us as parents. So to not have that extra set of hands, and to have to tell our kids not to hug their daddy was so hard for me! I cried many nights in sadness praying to praise God for all the things that he DID protect Jason from. I'm now at a point of moving forward, I'm no longer blaming people for what happened to him and I know that this was our Heavenly Father's plan and he was so faithful to us and continues to be. I still have my days of selfishness when I feel mad about what has happened to Jason, but then guilt falls on me for having such a nasty attitude about something I KNOW he didn't want for himself either. The other day I was so mad because it was 5'o clock in the afternoon and everyone had showered but me. I don't know why this bothered me so bad, probably because I was so tired, and all I wanted to do was just go to sleep..but I knew I had to put the last bit of energy in me to shower. It's selfish, but I pulled through just fine. These are just the little things in a day that I have struggled to manage since Jason being burned. This experience will always remain a life-long lesson in many different directions in our lives. I love my husband, I love everything about him and everything that comes with him. Through this he has remained so strong for us, shielding not only his pain for our kids, but for me also. He is a gift!!!!
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