is it really possible to do everything?

I am carrying the heavy burden as a  mom of not being able to get everything done. I give myself so many things to do, and then end up not get any of them accomplished. I have six library books that were due back on July 13th. I have known about these books since before then. So why can't I just get in my car and take them back? It's really making me upset that I'm not doing this, and I'm dreading the late fees too. I am supposed to take Brooke back to her allergy specialist to begin her allergy shots, and I have not done this either. Laundry and household cleaning has been neglected also. I guess tonight just isn't going to well with me. There are so many things that I wish I could change but can't. Tomorrow all I can do is try harder to be the mom I want to be for my kids. I need to get up, get ready before all of them and take these library books back! It's just really bothering me. I have also been having a little bit of a challenge getting Brooke to understand that we as parents are to teach them, that we are responsible for her behavior and correcting it when it is wrong. I think she is using reverse psychology on me by telling me things like "your making me think that you think I don't love you" and "you always spank me harder than Tyler", both of these statements are not only untrue but hurtful to me. For one the kids rarely get spanked (which could be the problem, to many threats and not enough enforcing) secondly, I do not spank Brooke and harder than Tyler. Brooke, Tyler and Taylor are all different kids that require different punishment. Tyler doesn't talk back (yet, but I'm hoping he doesn't ever) so he is easier to send to his room. Brooke is the total opposite, she will argue and argue with me. It's just real tough right now for me, because I don't ever want her to think that I don't love her. Unfortunately there has to be boundaries also, and those boundaries are hurting me. I wish our relationship could be better, but I have to stand firm in not allowing her to be the authoritative which she tries so hard to be. My baby girl is a strong-willed person, and this is good for her. I know Heavenly Father has made her this way, and maybe I'm just not praying hard enough asking him to help lead me in the way he wants me to mother Brooke, to help me be more in tune with the spirit. I definitely need to pray more for my mothering and blessings for my children. I know this life is a trial, I know that we are being tested. Truth is, we are to lean on Heavenly Father, to be obedient to him to enable ourselves to gain the blessings that follow with obedience. I gave a talk Sunday about "Facing the future with Faith" oh how this is coming into use right now. Families are being trialed in this world, and one of the things that have stuck with me from my speech and Sister Rogers speech is we are to live IN this world, not OF the world. Oh I can just imagine the peace we will be in, in the arms of our loving Father. Another saying I have thought of alot here lately is "we should forgive more and repent less", this is true and I know I can forgive more. It's challenging, but how can we expect to be forgiven if we do not forgive? I really feel like my heart has been humbled to alot of people who have hurt me badly by saying hurtful things. I love them, and I hope they come around sooner than later. It only comes to show the truth in families being trialed. Not having the best relationship with Jason's mom and Jamie's wife isn't easy, and I forgive these woman for any wrong doing. I am not perfect and have made mistakes in gossip, but I've prayed for forgiveness and I have gone the right way about making it right. It's a hard balance to juggle, but I will definitely embrace them with loving arms the next time I see them. My kids are missing out and my parents don't deserve this burden from me. So I have slowly changed myself, and I pray for change in them also to allow us to have a united family. This goes for Jason's family also, I do not wish any bad on anyone and I hope they see this truth by example. It will happen in God's time, I have strong faith in him. Well I better try and get some sleep so I can aim for having a better day tomorrow. - Kayla. <3