My body feels tired but it won't let me sleep. So I decided I would just blog about some of the things going on in my "busy mind." I have been thinking alot about how we all go through trials and tribulations throughout our lives, probably because I'm going through my own trials and tribulations. I wonder alot about if I am ministering to others the right way,and if I am listening to them with an open heart and mind. For all those who know me, I am a hypochondriac. I think deep into things, and sometimes deep enough to drown my mind with hopelessness and worry. I guess right now my main concern is why do I feel so tired everyday? I struggle so hard to have energy to do anything. I have been feeling dizzy here lately and my appetite has been random here lately, like for instance I will be so hungry and then when I get something to eat I feel full real quick (which just isn't normal for me). I feel spasms throughout my stomach sometimes, especially when I am laughing hard. :/ Which is a bummer because then I have to control my laughter, which I just don't like doing sometimes. I worry about my previous health problems with constipation and I just hope it's all under control, which I really think it's way better than what it was. My dad had brought to my attention a new episode that had aired about teenage girl going to the doctor for constipation and it turned out she had ovarian cancer! Like for reals dad, your going to tell me this when everyone knows I freak out about everything!?!? Well first thing I did the next day was call my doctor and ask him how my ultrasound looked a few months ago (which I am so grateful that I had this done now especially after this episode on the news) and he assured me my ovaries looked fine. So hopefully this has no connection to my fatigue. I don't know if I am just thinking to deep into feeling tired. I wish so badly I had the answers to all my concerns and fears, but we're human and I don't. I've been praying quite frequently throughout the day and night, just asking Heavenly Father to just give me the strength and comfort to at least be patient with the kids and family, and I do believe he has answered those prayers. I may just make an appointment with my doctor tomorrow to just follow-up on these concerns. Pray for that it's nothing serious and I'll be fine. I'm trying very hard to not be selfish in prayer. This is just something that I needed to blog about to make me feel better. So on a lighter note, Saturday evening me and the kids went to grandma Josie's apartment to make a second attempt at some miniature brownies with hershey kisses in the middle..they came out a success and were so very yummy too! :) Brooke helped some with putting the hershey kisses in the middle of the brownies with the second batch. I'm trying to work on myself on letting her be a bigger helper for me with things like this. I'm also trying to lighten up on messes, which will always be a work in progress. I'm trying so hard to just now focusing on giving myself to my kids, husband and family. Well the pictures of Taylor sleeping on the recliner and on the couch is a semi serious/funny story. Grandma Josie does not put up with whiny babies in any way. This is good for me because when I visit her I don't have kids jumping all over me. I know my kids should behave this way all of the time, but I honestly don't mind it so much. I enjoy and relish in their small baby ways, I'm sad that MY baby is already fixing to turn 2! But to the point, my mom always ends up having to put Taylor in time-out (making him sit down and not getting up) for jumping or whining over me. So each time she has done this he has fallen asleep. Hopefully he will catch on to not act that way with me, especially around grandma Josie. He's a doll and I love my baby Taylor so much. I love Brooke, Tyler and Taylor with all my heart and soul. My kids are my world, and I ponder all of the time if I am being the best mommy to them, I know I am not perfect and I know I fail at times...but I just hope they will always know how much I try. I try so hard for them, and I want them to have such happy fulfilled lives. They're beautiful kids and they're all so smart. Tyler and Taylor are just bear cubs!, always wrestling. I love it though (at times when no one is hurt). Brooke loves to write, she made applications for maid services today, I hired her for a dollar a day and she will get paid on Thursdays according to her work. :D So far her duties are putting away laundry and washing dishes. Hopefully it goes well, because I could sure use the help. I'm thankful for all that's going on in my life. I pray for continued well being and protection from our loving God. I am his child and my family is his, I have faith in him that he will take care of us all. We are his creation and through his atonement we have been given this life, this opportunity to be Christ-like! I pray to never take advantage of this plan. Nite everyone. <3-xoxo
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