Trials and Tribulations..

• Trials and tribulations...this title post says it all. We have so many in life whether it's a financial, family or health circumstance, we have them. Decisions always to be made and even learning from making the wrong decision. Tribulation: a state of great trouble or suffering. This is the definition of tribulation that I googled (because I didn't really know for sure it's definite meaning). Now the word "suffering" is scary to me. I don't like thinking I suffer or my kids or loved ones at that...but when I think of it in another perspective, the conclusion I can come up with is that we all suffer without confiding, worshiping and trusting our Savior and Heavenly Father. Last night I had the hardest time sleeping, at first I was just spooking myself out and then when I finally did seem to fall asleep I woke up with a very painful dry nose!! I was so bothered by this! So, I just prayed. I prayed that Heaven;y Father please help me find a way to sleep comfortably, to help my eyes, nose and throat to where they wouldn't hurt as bad. I trusted him and he helped me sleep. He gave me peace even in prayer, even as I did just lay there thinking I may not sleep at all..or that my nose wouldn't get better, I was at peace. I knew that it would pass, eventually. I pray for blessings for our home, for the kids and for myself. I should probably pray more for others because I know so many people who need it, and that's what life is all about. Trials: test, experiment, try, proof, examination or probation. These are the synonyms given for trials. I didn't really think the definition goes with what I am posting about. How can I apply trials to my feelings? Well, first of all test is a good start. I have been tested (trialed) alot here lately. I have failed several, I know this for a fact. But I know I can always learn from it. Remembering how I didn't feel good failing. For instance, yelling at the kids to much in the day, cursing to much, judging, gossiping..not reading my scriptures. All of these things make me unhappy. Because I know by doing these things I will not feel the blessings that come with not doing them. It is so hard sometimes, but I know I need to work on them. I really hope I can even start now! I know there will be a lot of people I will not get along with, but I can love them. I know there will be plenty of times that I will yell at the kids or curse...but I can still pray to stop. I know there will be plenty of times that I will not feel good or one of the kids will be sick, but I can pray for comfort. I know that I can always turn to my Father in Heaven to help me over come these trials and tribulations. To help direct me to being the woman, mother, sister, friend, cousin, grand-daughter I am born to be. To show me light when I am down and dark...he has been so faithful to me in the beginning of time. Faithfully bringing me out of PPD after having Brooke to here recently calming my fears about being put to sleep. He is so Faithful and merciful for all his children. I am a child of God, for he has sent me here..I love this primary song because it is so softly said and true. I just really want to make a New Years Resolution that isn't so shallow (like losing weight or buying some material thing). I want to be a better Servant of God. I want to strive to live the gospel to it's fullest. Ministering to others and serving! I really want to feel the love and blessings that come with by doing so! I want to teach my kids more strongly and powerful of Jesus and our Father and I want to make Family home evening a priority. I want to be the best Latter-Day Saint I know I can be! This all was weighing heavy on me tonight, so I needed to document it before I forget. :)) My prayer list:
• For health and protection for the kids and my family
•  To receive guidance in what decisions Jason and I need to make regarding Tyler's education.
• To know whether or not it's time for me to start looking for work, or to continue staying at home with the kids.
• My grandmother's health.
• Brandie in her time of grief. For Heavenly Father to wrap his arms around her and to allow the Spirit to be strong in her presence every day as she tries to make a step forward and tries to adjust to her new normal.
• To humble my heart to Brian and his family and Jason's as well. For I know they know what they do.
• My chest to quit aching and nose to be ok tonight.
• For me to be a good example and to make Jason's parents visit nice flowing and cheerful.

• To give thanks for my kids and family and friends. For the church and it's teachings, missionaries who dedicate 2 years of their lives to serve others....

I think this is all I can think of right now, but I am sure more will come as I pray! Love- Kayla Xxo

Christmas Simplicity

The Parks Family Christmas 2011

 So our Christmas this year was a very simple, very blessed and very cherish able. We bought the kids the things they asked for and we're very lucky to have such easy kids. Tyler was really wanting a shark for Christmas and I caught a great deal at Toy's R Us for a discovery kids shark and killer whale set. Tyler was soo happy with this gift from Santa. As for Taylor, we bought him foam blocks as his gift from Santa. I almost bought him a wooden block set, but then second guessed it when I then thought about how I knew these blocks would be thrown around or at Brooke or Tyler. I am so grateful for that decision because we have definitely had blocks thrown here and there. Now about Brooke, wow how our Santa issues have begun. I really know she doesn't believe in Santa (I can't pin point if it was me who may have ruined it for her, or maybe kids at school) but we didn't buy her a Santa gift this year. So I then came up with the idea to make her a "Santa note" with money inside explaining why he didn't leave a specific gift for her under the tree. Unfortunately, I had left Tyler's shark and Taylor's whale gifts in the computer room and she totally saw them. Like the smart girl she is, she put 2 and 2 together and completely gave Jason and I the 3rd degree expecting us to explain this to her. I told her we would get back to her on it, I just am so exhausted I didn't have the mental strength to try and convince her and do damage control. So that is a total separate blog post. Overall I am so happy with the outcome of our Christmas. We didn't get much, but the spirit was felt so strongly among us all. I know times will get easier or more challenging, but as long as I have these wonderful kids and husband and parents of mine (and Jamie and Jenn as well, even though they're spending time with their own families and in-laws) I will be content and at peace....which ultimately equals happiness. Now I better get to bed because it's 12:45 in the morning and I have tons of cleaning to do tomorrow before Jason's parents come Wednesday! -Kayla Xxoxo

Trying to snap a quick Christmas shot!

Smile for the camera! (I love Taylor's smile, Tyler's sweet face and Brooke's silly pigtails that she did herself)

We  could of bought Taylor just this and he would of been totally fine with that.

This is just who we are. We're goofy and we just take moments at a time. Enjoying every bit of happiness.

Brooke's precious letter

Brooke left the sweetest note to Santa asking him to still bless her brothers with gifts even though their sometimes disobedient.

Our little tree that was once filled with presents beneath it, is now once again lonely.

We were all blessed with a white Christmas

A mother's love is always enough

Well Christmas is 4 days away now and I think we're as ready as we can be. The tree is loaded with presents beneath it and I can't wait to see Brooke, Tyler and Taylor's faces when they open their gifts. I chose to not beat myself up this year about what and how much we were going to buy the kids. I know it wouldn't be fair for me to put that stress on Jason or my dad (which I hoped I didn't do, to much), and because Christmas isn't about what's under the tree, it's about who is around it with you. In a eternal perspective. I've been blessed with kids who don't ask for much anyways!! Tonight is actually a night that I am so thankful for. Grandma Josie took all 3 kids for a sleepover at her place tonight!! I hope it goes well, especially with Tator (Taylor). It's nice to have this time to just lay down, to think and gather my thoughts. This past Tuesday Jason and I went with the boys (Tyler, Taylor and Brae) to Lubbock to go to Tyler's Sylvan follow-up appointment on how he scored on his assessments. The appointment took about an hour and half, and we have committed into enrolling Tyler in the program. What the assessor explained to us was very strong advice. He asked us questions like "what are you goals for Tyler? To get him where he needs to be academically to graduate high school, or to prepare him to attend a college of his choice?"  It's obvious how we answered. There are somethings that he has mastered and also some things he hasn't. Being in a public school, they're programs are very different. They're more directed towards "passing" students on a different criterias based on percentage of knowledge ability. Ex: There are 26 letters in the alphabet, a kindergartner is required to know or make a 70% in order to move on to 1st grade. This means that not every letter will be mastered...which just leads to a countless number of complications for most students who do not all interpret the alphabet on mastery level. I want Tyler to have the confidence in his education to help him strive with an ambition geared towards accomplishing a college degree. It's so wonderful that we have chosen to get him this help so early in his age! Reading is most important for him and we have all confidence that we're doing what is best for him. This son of mine is such an angel and I love everything about him. His smile, his loving snuggles and his big brown eyes! Some things really hurt me (I am one to take comments VERY personal) and my dad is sometimes to jokingly with me. I one time was visiting with my dad about my concerns for Tyler and how he is progressing in school, and my dad had agreed with me that he didn't notice Tyler struggling in some parts...I then referred to Tyler as "different". Which I meant that he gets it, he very much understands his schooling, he just handles it "differently." Little did I know my dad would turn that into a joke! :( He now says "he isn't dumb Ms.Gump...he's just....different." It does hurt me so bad, because I know my dad compares Tyler to Brooke. Which isn't fair...if that's the case then that dumb saying applies to every other child who isn't in a GT program at their school. I plan on talking him tomorrow to get this sadness and bothered heart back to peace. I just wish sometimes my dad wouldn't be so naive...especially to his grand-kids. I feel some things in the near future changing, I just need to focus my decisions with prayer first. My eyes are bothering me pretty bad right now...so I'll follow-up with my pictures tomorrow.---Kayla Xxo

Frustration does exsist

Frustration has clouded my afternoon and I'm hoping  it's just temporary. It seems like as soon as Brooke and Tyler get home from school all I hear is crying, screaming, running footsteps or one of the kids tattle-telling. Pure Chaos that overwhelms this momma more than anything. Some days are pretty easy (usually I have to get all of the kids managed before PePaw comes home from work, because the poor man's nerves are just to worn out for 3 kids bickering and crying) and some days are just tough, like today. Maybe it's because I really don't push the kids to play quietly, maybe because I don't stress the importance of sharing and playing nicely, or even how I may not discipline them enough when they fight and don't mind. All of these could definitely be the reasons behind their very unacceptable behavior. This afternoon is one of them days where I need them to just chill out!!! I went to Jason's work at 3:30 to get his check only to be totally sidetracked because he had told me he was in HR's office discussing a situation that happened a few weeks ago. A situation that I did tell Jason he was in the wrong and it was very inappropriate on his part. But from what I know about this other person, he isn't really any different than Jason, and if Jason didn't feel comfortable with this guy he would of never "joked" around with him like he did. Men can be just as caddy as women!  I just worry so much because now this guy is complaining that "he doesn't feel the same around Jason anymore." What does that even mean? He didn't seem uncomfortable around Jason at the Christmas party last Friday. I just told Jason to apologize again and to stand his ground that this other guy is the same way with him and if he would of never played around with him if he didn't act that way either. I just hope whatever corrective action that may occur doesn't affect Jason's employment or his possibilities in the future with Azteca. :/ Yep, my mind is definitely going a million miles an hour right now worrying about what was said and done, and the kids are acting like a bunch of menaces! So yes, frustration is my emotion. I want to call his work so bad to see what happened, but I don't know if that's the right thing to do. Especially lying to whoever will answer the mill phone and ask me if it's an emergency! haha...maybe my piece of mind is an emergency!!! I said a prayer driving home and you know I just need to really leave it in the Lord's hands. It is what it is, and our family will be ok. Now if I can just get Brooke, Tyler and Taylor to play nicely this evening could look a lot brighter for the 4 of us! I'm hoping  I can calmly finish out this day with the Spirit in tune! Praying hard -Kayla

My babies are growing to fast!

Looking at this picture I just can't believe how fast time has gone by. I feel like it could of been just yesterday that Jason and I were scrambling to get Brooke and Tyler ready to take to his grandma's in Hale Center, so we could go to Lubbock (UMC) to have Taylor! Brooke and Tyler's facial appearances have matured so much since this picture, which was only just 2 yrs ago. Oh how I would love to have just one more baby, but Jason doesn't seem so compliant and willing to give it one more go. Who knows, maybe he'll change his mind one day. It's definitely always an option. :)) Then again, the way things are going in this world, it seems almost selfish to keep wanting another baby to bring into this life, while we're trying to get through miserable economic times. So I will leave it in my Lord's hands. We are his children and he will lead us where he needs us to be. I pray Jason and I can raise our children to love, to be kind, to minister to others and to lead by example. I'm not sure what type of expectations to have for them, for each of them are so uniquely different. I still need to weigh out my own options as far as what I am going to do next year. My mind is neutral right now, I can't really decide if working is something I should or shouldn't consider doing. I really need to pray harder about it, I have been so tired with each day I haven't been giving enough effort to talk with Heavenly Father....it's so wrong and it's probably why I get overwhelmed with everything. I'm trying to handle all of this in the flesh. I need to read the scriptures more, pray more, service more..more, more more!! So much to do...wow..I really am going to stop now. I just love this picture of the kids. Brings joyful memories back. <3 <3 <3 -Kayla (now to do some online shopping to take away from stressing about all of the things I need to do!!)

Date Night/ Azteca Christmas party

Yesterday was Jason's Christmas party for his work. I was silly enough to of stressed the whole week about what I was going to wear to this party. I guess more for insecurity purposes, maybe? I knew lots of people would be there that work with him (duh) and I wanted Jason and I to look our best. To me, it is very important to take pride in yourself and the way you first present yourself to people will be their first impression of you. I didn't want to look like a slob and not put together. Long story short, I found a dress at Dillards that was 40% off and it fit perfect, with the help of Spanx!!! :)) Now let me vent about Spanx...these suckers are TIGHT!!! Omg, I didn't even know if I was going to make it the whole night wearing these Spanx when we first left the house. The lady at Dillards who helped me pick my size warned me to take some time to myself putting them on, because it would be a task. Luckily I succeeded in putting them on, but adjusting to breathing with them took a few hours!! I don't even know how I managed to eat my dinner to think about it. But it helped with out the dress fit me, so I'd have to say they were and are a good investment. The Christmas party went wonderfully, I shared a lot of laughs with Jason and his friends and their wives. It was our first time going to Azteca's Christmas parties, but I really think we'll be going to future ones if Jason's work schedule permits us to go. We got home pretty late especially later than we planned, and sure enough little Miss Brooke was coughing up a storm. :( I really do love this time of year, the snow, grey clouds etc..but it has the toughest effect on Brooke. Her asthma just doesn't help with a cold and runny nose. I gave her breathing treatments and cough medicine at 7 this morning and I actually drank some Theraflu while I waited for her treatments to be done, because my head was aching and my throat was extremely dry and itchy. Then we went back to bed and slept pretty late into the morning. She's been doing pretty good this whole day, good enough to spend the night with Kyra. So I pray she sleeps well tonight because getting a call in the middle of the night to pick her up will be freezing!!! But I don't mind at all if it does so happen. I'm really excited about Christmas, I'm really not stressing a whole lot of things. We haven't bought the kids their clothes yet, or our parents and siblings, but I'm not stressing it. I know we'll get around to it, but it's definitely not priority in this Holiday. I'm trying to focus on understanding my own personal calling for my family. I'm always trying to think of more effective ways in communicating with Jason, Jenn, Jamie and family, Brittani..and so forth. Questioning myself about "how do they better respond to me"? Hopefully I'll master this soon so I can better minister to them. I have so many things to catch up on and routinely commit to them. It just seems like there is either not enough energy through the day or not enough time! :/ Just another common struggle I think. I wish I could just slow time down, even more go back in time. But we can't so I am taking what is as it is. I am very blessed and counting those blessings as well. I love my children my husband and family. We're not a perfect family but we get by through the strength of one another for sure. Here are some of the few pictures I took of last night..I still really need to get better about taking more pictures. -Kayla xoxo Ok never mind, I'll have to upload the pictures tomorrow. I'm so tired right now and I didn't save them to the laptop! SMH

Simple kind of life :)

Just real quick...all of the kids have the cutest personalities!! I just have to totally blog what they have had me cracking up on these last few days. :))





Me talking to Brooke and Tyler what Christmas is really about:

Me: So..do you guys knows what Christmas is about?
Brooke: About the birth of Jesus
Me: Good job Brooke!! It is about Jesus being born. Now Tyler, do you know what Christmas is about?
Tyler: Ya..about Santa Claus bringing me toys!!

(I just this was so cute. Of course Brooke would have a better understanding of the meaning of Christmas....Tyler's however just makes me love the fun, wittiness of a 5 year old)

Today when Jason came home with the kids from work and school, Brooke asked me if she could make herself some ramen noodles in the microwave (something her Tia Jennifer showed her). I told her she could, so Tyler sees her doing this and wants some noodles himself, apparently he asked Brooke to make him some too but she wouldn't. Tyler then comes to me and asks me if I will tell Brooke to make him a bowl too. Well I did ask her to make him some, but for some reason we all became distracted with other things because I never followed up to see if Brooke did in fact make Tyler some ramen noodles. Sure enough it turned out that she didn't! So I asked her why didn't she make Tyler some noodles...right then she asked Tyler if he wanted a peanut butter sandwich or noodles...and Tyler said "both!" I just thought it was so cute and it really just made me smile!! I may have to edit this post later because I am blogging it with the boys running around screaming and fighting, Brooke worming it around on the floor and Jason yelling at us to have our shoes on before he gets done getting ready!! aaahh!!! madness in the house right now!!

Smile for the camera!!

This precious smile makes everything better for me!! xoxo

 These pictures capture the feel of our little family. We're goofy, we're funny and we have the best times doing the silliest things! I really do have the most fun when we're being care less (not worrying about getting stuff done in the house, like laundry etc) and just goofy around. Tyler isn't in any of the pictures because of course he was already asleep!! He is very good about going to bed early and it definitely does him good. Brooke and Taylor however are night owls like their momma! ;) I think Jason was tired, probably from a hard day at work, but he still played around with us. Even if it meant him taking a picture in a laundry basket while Taylor played "bongo" on his head! We have been doing our new traditional routine about going to a house on Amarillo street and listening to the music station and watching Santa work. I really, really love people who devote much of their time, and money I am sure, to bring such a display for nearby neighbors to see. I know my kids enjoy it so much! They look forward to it every day after dinner. It's a memory I am sure they'll remember. Well this is just another little Parks silly update! Now off to go rest some more!

Who doesn't love a daddy with a sense of humor?

and such patience with his babies!!....we <3 you daddy!

Just thinking

Before I get a shower, I wanted to post about some thoughts I've been having. For one, I am so loving the snow that we got yesterday and I am kind of bummed out that the sun is out today already melting it. I would be ok with having a whole week of just gloomy, gray weather. Christmas is right around the corner, literally and I am pretty calm and mellowed out about it. We had a RS meeting at church this past Saturday and one thing that stuck with me was how people have turned Thanksgiving and Christmas into this big "Black Friday" choas! People more focused on making sales to buy $5 waffle makers, ipads, TV's, etc. When these holidays are supposed to be based on thanks, love and appreciation for our families. Christmas is all about the birth of Jesus. Without his birth all these good blessings in our lives would not be given to us. I just really want to teach Brooke, Tyler and Taylor about the importance of Christmas, which is family. The birth of Jesus. I am still learning myself about everything in the Bible and Book of Mormon, being that I wasn't taught it as a child. But I love learning in Primary with the kids. I am so happy I am able to give this to my children. Taking them to church, watching and learning with them about the church and the gospel. I didn't have that growing up. And most importantly, I am glad to be living it for them. It's important to lead by example. But I need to hurry and get ready for this day! Boo how I wish I could take a nap with Taylor, but nope...I must get ready! -Kayla

Love

So a once close friend of mine is going through a trial in her life and in her marriage that saddens me so much. I have been through many struggles with Jason throughout our relationship which slowly became a marriage. We didn't marry right off the bat, even though I really wanted to when I found out I was pregnant with Tyler, Jason felt as if we should wait and not marry just because we were expecting. Thinking now about this choice of his, I completely disagree. If it were any of my kids I would definitely encourage them to marry. The importance a man and woman uniting in marriage before a child is born is what is commanded. It IS what is right. But I am glad we married eventually. Out of all honesty I can't say I "loved" Jason even when we did get married. We still had so many problems; problems even more difficult and similar to many married couples. But we knew we were expecting another baby soon and it was what needed to be done for many reasons more than one. Getting married was one of the best decisions in our lives that we made. I love that we got married, that I am Jason's wife. He is my soulmate and we are meant to be. We have been blessed with 3 amazing kids and I couldn't ask for a better father for them. Jason is the complete opposite from what I grew up knowing in a dad. My whole marriage is the complete opposite from what I saw with my own parents. In life you can take what you were taught and what you saw as an example, and you can choose how to apply all of that to your own life. This is what I personally believe and it is how I think. I love my mom and dad so much. I know they did their best for us, and I never question their love for me, Jennifer or Jamie. They made many mistakes in their lives, but I forgive them and I love them. I thank the Lord for them, my parents have raised us well. Even saying that, I always want more for my own kids. I get so overwhelmed and down on myself whenever money seems "tight" and I can't buy the kids whatever they ask for. I know it is wrong, and I shouldn't buy them everything they want; because then they will not ever be grateful for what we do provide for them. I get discouraged when I feel like I don't contribute enough to my dad and Jason (financially). It's the small, meaningless things that bother me so much. I know it's ridiculous, and that by me just staying home full-time will mean more to the kids than anything else that money can buy. I know this for a fact. Jason and my dad encourage me to stay home and to not feel pressured to work if it's truly something I don't want to do. I have support all around me as I choose to stay home with my kids, so I need to take this journey full force and just completely block out all the negative energy I get from doing so. I am truly blessed with amazing men who allow this. :)) That I will say in closing on this topic. But back to where I began. Marriage is not easy. It will have it's ups and downs, but it doesn't change ever that it is sacred. I didn't love Jason when I first met him. My love for him is something that grew in time. That grew with respect and faith. I had to trust that he was for me. I had to willingly give myself to him. That is the hardest part in marriage is giving your soul to someone else. To agree to disagree, but to do so with love. Love isn't always nice words and compliments or romantic dates and spontaneous trips together in snow-topped mountains in a cabin, snuggling close together by a fire. All of that is fairytale. Yeah, it is nice to be able to do all of that if you can. But if we did all of those things all of the time, they wouldn't have that warming appreciation from either me or Jason. Love is fighting and then quickly or slowly understanding the fight afterwards. Love isn't having a perfect relationship with everyone you marry into; it's learning to love those you married into, for your husband/wife. Love is when your always trying to go back in memory searching for that warm, butterflies in your stomach type of feeling. Love is just one emotion in our life that will dictate how we choose our future. I allow myself to love my husband Jason. The one who has been there for me in everything I have been through. The one who always is willing to change. The one who loves and plays with our kids all of the time. The one who will wash dishes after I cooked dinner. The one who will never show me he is hurt because he doesn't want me to worry. The one who loves me just as much as I love him. That is love and I hope our kids will see and feel this love, to carry it on to their own husband and wives. L.O.V.E--- Kayla xoxoxo

Follow-Up on female "issues"

So I had the laprascopy procedure done last Friday and I do have the beginning stages of endometriosis. What surprised me most is that it's just the beginning stages and I already cramp so much! I can't imagine what an "ending" stage would be or feel like! I did have adhesion's that I think he may have corrected already, but these adhesion's only make endometrisosis worse I believe. I have two main options of treatment. One being I can take birth control to control my periods and maybe cut back the intense cramping, or second being having a hysterectomy done. I really haven't decided what I should do. It's scary to consider having a hysterectomy because then all chances of ever having a baby are gone, and I am not ready to be 24 years old and on hormone therapy for the rest of my life. So it's a situation that I feel like I don't win for losing. I am going to keep praying about this and asking Heavenly Father to guide me in what decision I should make that is best for me and my family. I go to Dr.Smith tomorrow so I will pray hard tonight and seek advice from him as well. And by the way, I can't believe I worried myself so bad about being put to sleep! It wasn't bad at all! I think using the restroom was worse! I am so thankful that I was blessed by Dan the night before and all the prayers coming my way. I have such faithful friends and family!!

Thanksgiving 2011

These are the only pictures that I took during  Thanksgiving day. I haven't become great at taking alot of pictures during occasions like this. I did however make sure to get pictures of me, Jason, the kids and Jenn and Trent. Grandma Josie didn't show up until later that evening so by then I was to exhausted to give the effort. :/ We had turkey, ham, stuffing, green bean casserole, broccoli and rice casserole, pumpkin pie, pecan pie and a pumpkin cheesecake I baked that no one ate! The one complaint I have about making 3 casseroles and home made cheesecake is that no one really ate them and they ended up in the trash. Next year I will probably not bake so much. We'll do the regular canned corn and green beans. The kids were happy though and we all managed to spend time together and enjoy it. We asked the kids what they were thankful for (Brooke and Tyler mainly) and these were some of the things they said:

• Our home
• Mommy and Daddy
• "my Thomas trains" -Tyler
• My friends -Brooke

This is kind of all I can remember. I guess it's your typical 7 and 5 year old thanks, but I did make it a point that we should be most thankful for Heavenly Father and Jesus for the families they have blessed us with. Without family this holiday wouldn't have been possible for us. So before bedtime when I asked them again what were they thankful for, they did say "Jesus and Heavenly Father." I accomplished my main important teaching to the kids that day. I am so thankful for so many things. Not just the happy and material things, but for the challenges and struggles that I go through in my life. If life were so happy and perfect how would we know to be grateful? Would anything really be "happy"? I really doubt it. You have to taste the bitter before you can taste the sweet. It's so easy to just focus on things that make me made, things I cannot seem to understand or change, but in the end I have a wonderful life to be thankful for. I have parents who have taught me values and morals. Who have guided me in my marriage with Jason, my issues with his family, and have always taught me to not make mountains out of Moe hills. This is something very important and valuable that I will carry close in mind. Most of my thanks goes to God though. I am thankful for the missionaries who came to my doorstep and taught me the true teachings of Jesus. Who prayed for me to bear my own testimony of this gospel and for the members of the church who have supported me and  my family through becoming a member myself. Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is such a wonderful part of my life. I feel so pure and at peace with my understanding of the restored church of Jesus Christ, for our prophets and presidency who guide and direct us. Brooke is going to be 8 years old on January 8 and she is looking forward to being baptized. She is SO excited and ready to take on this covenant with the Lord. Some people ask me at church if I am going to let her (I guess because they may think me being a convert, that I may not agree with such a commitment for a child at 8 years old) and of course if this is what Brooke decides to do (which she obviously has) I am going to fully encourage and support her. I know that she may not fully understand the commandments and everything that I may know and understand, but she does know that being baptized means Choosing The Right (CTR). I plan to really focus this month (December) on talking with Brooke and emphasizing that promise she makes with Heavenly Father when she is baptized. Thanksgiving is such a wonderful holiday because it helps me really give thanks to what's important. It re tunes me with the spirit and my callings as a mom, wife, christian, friend, cousin..etc. It still is very challenging, but hopefully I can pray more about these worldly challenges. Focus more on loving and forgiving. Putting more effort into healing broken relationships, building my family.

 We had a really thankful Thanksgiving and I hope to carry on this joy consistently. Although at times I am sure it won't seem as genuine, but if I can just keep carrying it on for others to see then that is what's most important to me. To live and lead to enable others to feel the fruit of this tree I have taken into my spirit. I can't wait for the day to have an eternal marriage and family with Jason and the kids, and for them to carry that desire to. I have such a faith to be happy and grateful for. :) -Kayla xoxoxo

I don't have to be strong enough..

Well the title to this post is definitely what I'm beginnning to comprehend. I've been struggling this whole year with my menstrual cycles, etc....and last night was the final straw! I began cramping last night about around 9 and it carried on until after 8:30 this morning!! I then called Brandie (who works for Dr.Smith, an amazing GYN doctor) and she was able to work me in quick! They did a pelvic exam and ran tests for infections, which all came back negative. I have been having alot of discomfort during sex, and the common on-going cramping. So he is the diagnosis: I am scheduled to have a laprascopic procedure done this Friday morning. The whole purpose of doing this is to see the "outside" of my uterus, to check for any bleeding within the muscles or something of that sort. This is option #2 that I am going with. Option #1 was to put me on birth control and to minimize the bleeding, hoping to get rid of the cramping. This is all trial and error, which is why I am choosing to not go with option one. I just want to do what's best, and I feel like by getting on birth control is basically putting a band-aid over the problem. This helps me to know that by doing the laprascopic procedure Dr.Smith will be able to further check out what is going on inside...to make a better decision in what I need to do. I am very sad about it. I am relieved that we are now doing more to trying to figure out why I am in so much discomfort, but I am very nervous about being put to sleep. I worry for my children, through all that is going on with me...I worry most for Brooke, Tyler and Taylor. I am their mother and I feel like I am the rock of this whole family. Of course being me, I always think the worst. It's a terrible way to be, but this just how I am. I am sad about how if worst case scenario happens, and we do remove my uterus, I will never be pregnant again. It's very selfish considering I already have Brooke, Tyler and Taylor, but I just sometimes wondered what another little girl or boy would look like. I am scared about not being healthy, not waking up after the procedure, and most of all not being here for the kids. It's soo drastic I know, but these are my worries. My faith is and will bring me through this though. I trust my Father in Heaven in his plan for me and my family. He has and will always provide for me and the kids. I will allow today to be the day I worry and cry and mourn over everything, but from tomorrow on out I am just going to live on faith and hope. I can't keep allowing my acne, my pain, my worries to take away the happiness in my life. I'm not sure if I'll be able to blog after tonight. Our laptop won't be ready until next week and Kendra needs this one back. But here are some of my current thoughts

• I love my family always and forever, and I hope they always know that.
• My faith and belief in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is real. Is true, and it is so very important to me that the kids be allowed to know and to be taught this truth. For them to gain a testimony of their own and to reach out and minister to those around us.
• To wake up from surgery ok, and if not for Jason to please remain here with Pepaw and to raise our beautiful children as if I were here. :)) I would do the same.
• To allow myself to just be happy, to be optimistic.

I know this is pretty deep, but this is what I would want for everyone to know. I hope to get a chance to blog more about this! Until then...love to all.

What a last 2 weeks!

Oh today is definitely one of them challenging days. I played in a flag football tournament all day yesterday and my body is paying for it today. I literally am struggling to reach down because my arm muscles are so sore. Jason insists on encouraging me to stretch so I'm slowly doing so. It was so windy and dusty yesterday that my face is still very dry and itchy, and I think I may have a rash on my lower face! :( It doesn't help my low self-esteem due to my acne as it is. I came home after 5 o'clock yesterday with my 5 little kids (I was babysitting Brae and Kyra) and cooked dinner. Jason was sick with nauseua and vomitting and Tyler was crying about his tummy aching. I was for sure on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I had to much going on at home last night that I didn't even know where to begin or end. Luckily I managed to clean the kitchen and put some towels to wash. I can't believe I even made it out of the shower because I was so exhausted. My night was for sure rocky, kids whining here and there, Jason being sick and attitudes thrown by Brooke to me. This morning I woke up and just  layed there in bed waiting for one of the kids to come crying to me or throwing up on the floor (which for some reason they seem to always ignore the bucket that I set on the floor beside their beds). Tyler is still running a fairly high temperature, pushing 100.0 but not quite there and Jason has thrown up just once this morning. Brooke has not lightened up on her attitude and is just whining and crying about everything ranging from her barbies head coming off to her head hurting. As for me, I am just trying to calmly digest it all. Praying to myself every chance I get. I know there is a stomach bug going around because Averyn had it for about 36hrs and Kyra began throwing up Thursday night and was better by Friday night. My mom kept Kyra Friday night and asked me to watch her Saturday because she had to be at work and Kendra was working a booth at a craft show in Olton. So I do think it's highly possible for of my kids and Jason to of caught it from Kyra. Even poor Brae was telling me his stomach was hurting before Shayla came over to pick him up. I hope he doesn't get sick because of us. :( I shouldn't be surprised because last year around this time my babies all took turns with the flu and strep!! Oh it was horrible and I know I am blessed with them and their tummy bugs this time of year compared to last years. I guess the more overwhelming part of today is Jason not feeling well. I am so used to him helping me with everything and to not have his full help today is hard for me. Even more because I am soo soo very sore from yesterday! My legs and arms are aching so bad! I don't know which is worse, throwing up or not being able to move right! Today was the Sunday Primary program at church and Brooke had a talk to give about how Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers. We had her talk written down and planned out. We went over her talk briefly last night and I had planned on taking her to church this morning. When we got up I told her to get in the bath, her response: "why do I have to do everything? my head is hurting I am still sleepy and all the boys are sick!!! (all while crying)". Already drained I just told her if she really is feeling crabby then no one is forcing her to give this talk. She went to her room and has been laying down since then. My explanation to this is: me and the kids are so used to a routine. We are at home taking the day slowly and calmly on a regular basis. Yesterday I had them outside in the horrible weather all day! I honestly had no choice and had comitted to this team. The kids could have been feeling sick yesterday while I was playing and weren't given a chance to tell me until we got home. I just don't think I will do any more of these type of tournaments again. It is to much for me and for the kids, not to forget I was only tackled about 5 times yesterday!!, in a "flag football" tournament. I did really enjoy the physical exercise of running plays and routes, and the girls were fun! So, this is something weighing heavy on me from the tournament we played yesterday. I had a hard time with the girls we were playing who weren't following the rules. The ones who were roughing up on us basically tackling us. One of our girls got HIT hard yesterday knocking the air out of her and the girls on the team we were playing were laughing to themselves asking us to hurry up with the game!! It made me so mad on a wordly perspective that I totally cursed out that girl in front of my team mates! :( Definitely something I regret and wish so badly I could take back. Unfortunately I can't and what's done is done. I failed to be the example to other's and allowed that girl to get the best of me. I did apologize to the girls on my team and I hope they can over look that. It really isn't who I am and I for sure know better. It is a lesson I will take with me in the future. I know and trust my faith in all that I do and I hope I won't fail my Father in Heaven or my family. I have learned alot these last 2 weeks and I know and understand what was being told to me by the spirit. I hope today will go by quick and I hope even more the kids and Jason will get better!!

Silly phrases the kids are using

Oh how I love being entertained by these cute little people of mine. They each have their own personality (the boys may have very similar personalities and humor though) and they each say very witty things! I'll just start with Brooke and end with Taylor :))

Brooke:
"my brain has files in it. I keep up with you, Tyler, Taylor, daddy, Pepaw, grandma, Tia and Sadie. I know all y'alls medical problems" (this is just so genius of Brooke. What brought it up was when Tyler went to the doctor a few months ago for fever, he had ear infections. Dr.Watkins explained to me all the complications that come from nasal allergies and how it leads to ear infections. Tyler went to the doctor this past Wednesday and has double ear infections. Brooke totally remembered this and called me out. That is when she told me about the "files" in her brain! LOVE IT)  

Tyler:
 "jingle butt jingle butt" then he goes into some random mix of words after that...but his humor is much appreciated most of the time. 

"daddy you can live with me when I move to Lubbock" (and yes I am invited as well as the whole family" 

Taylor:
We went to wal-mart this afternoon to buy the stuff to make caldo..and I knew he was getting hungry and low on blood sugar, so I bought him some of the popcorn chicken...and he now refers to it as "wal-mart chicken"!! I love it. He calls Tyler "thatho" and he catches on to everything we say! 

 I must say I am very happy with these little ones of mine!
 

The blessings of the gospel

So I have tried blogging for two days in a row now. I have either been distracted by the kids or have fallen asleep, to only wake up and totally forget what I was blogging about or remembering how I worded things (obviously not saving it as a draft). Today is going pretty smooth. I managed to wake up on time to get Brooke and Tyler fully bathed and ready before Jason got home from work. PePaw took the day off from work to rest and recover from a physical stressful week of overtime and crew work. I think he made a good choice. :)) So that means for me that Taylor is entertained by his Pepaw, which gives me some "me-time." I've been doing a little soul searching this week trying to really figure out why some things bother me about people. Not just general people, but people I am close to. I would much rather not disclose names because I do hope others read this blog one day, especially Jason and the kids. Since joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I have built a testimony of this gospel. A testimony so true from Jesus that it has changed my life tremendously. From understanding the word of wisdom, to feeling the blessings from being obedient to not eating, drinking or smoking the things that God has asked us to steer away from. My mind is at peace, a peace that I struggled for year to gain. Now, don't get me wrong there are days and times that this peace is clouded, but through prayer and blessings from the missionaries I have over come those cloudy times. That doesn't mean that my future has no more cloudy days, it means that my faith in Heavenly Father is all trusted into him because I know he will pull me through it. Because of that I love and cry out to him often. Not always tears of sorrow and sadness, but of joy and thanks. This is important to me. He has been so clear with me and I have understood him fully. I know that I must be like him if I want happiness in my life, and for my family. I pray and talk to God alot about humbling my heart to family and friends who have offended me deeply, who have said hateful things about my mothering and my children (and trust me, this has happened! Especially to my children), who have judged me and have been so mean!! I do believe I have forgiven them on my part, and I do believe that I am choosing the right by keeping them away from my family. People with rude intentions, hateful intentions will not bring the spirit with them, therefore most likely crashing mine! So that is exactly why we do not see or go around Jason's family in Hale Center. I believe that if Jason's mom can get over things, strong situations, and come to our home and pick up where we once left off  (years ago) that his grandma and cousin are capable of doing so to. They just choose not to, and that is beyond my concern or worry. I just want my kids to know why their mom made this decision. His grandma came to some silly choice to not like me and dwell on it, which is soo dumb to me. She thinks I locked her out of the house one day when Misty brought her by to visit and anyone who knows me..knows I wouldn't do that. Casey walked in behind me for crying out loud! But like I said, that is so silly and beyond understanding. Anyways, eventually his granny began to buy only the boys presents and not Brooke. That is a BIG NO NO in my book. She will not be allowed in this family if she cannot treat all of the kids equally. Any mom would agree. So Word! And Misty just has a nasty attitude and made a huge chaotic scene at wal-mart one time when Jason and I went to get Tyler's medicine. She hasn't changed so she is a scratch off too, I cannot surround myself around just nasty women. Long story short, I just remain in faith of the Lord and that the spirit is guiding me and  I am doing what is right. Which I am at peace with not being close to the family in Hale Center and with my own in Dallas. Sometimes it's easier to appreciate people you aren't involved with. This doesn't mean I hate them or wish bad upon them. It means that I am protecting myself and the security in this family of mine and Jason's. Our family is the only one we have control over. So they are my top priority. I have these problems all around me and I just allow myself to follow and listen to what the spirit tells me. Relationships have been strengthened for me. So I know God is watching out for me and mine. This includes friends to. I am beginning to understand and realize where my friendships should be a remain. It isn't easy, but I just know it's what's best. In closing, I just know that I am where I am supposed to be. The kids are where they are supposed to be. We are all being taught the truth and so man great things are going to happen in my marriage with my children and hopefully with my family. Taylor is now eating a snack, so that means my mind is clouding again!! Till next time.

Halloween is creepin' up on us!!

"Tyler, smile pretty!!"

Yesterday we started our hopeful new tradition of carving pumpkins. Brooke is really into doing stuff like this, getting together as a family and doing activities. I didn't really have experiences like this growing up, which is even more reason why I want do things like this with the kids. I was definitely worried about the mess it could maybe make and the kids being disappointed with their jack-o-lanterns, but with the help of uncle Trenton and myself the whole night was a success!! Tyler loved his bat (go figure haha), Brooke loved her cat and I took bragging rights of my headless horseman! The clean-up was simple and I had tons of help from Jenn and Trent! I'm learning to just ease up on my "controlling" factor and to just enjoy the times like these with the

"Smile for the camera Brooke"

kids, because it is so worth it in the end. I think I seem to think to much about messes, etc. I hope I continue to just ease up some more. It's worth the change and it's worth saving the stress for everyone and myself. I can't express how much of a good time yesterday was. 

 Next project is Christmas cards. :)) I love these pictures so much of the kids having a great time. Even though Tyler wouldn't take the seeds out of the pumpkin, he wouldn't even put his hands in the pumpkin! Silly kids.

Uncle Trenton taped on his outline

Brooke having a good ole' time sticking her hands in the pumpkin

Trenton did awesome helping with the kids and their pumpkins

Little bit was obviously fascinated with everything

I liked this one of Taylor watching along

One of those days...

Wow! What a day today has been. I love how when the day turns to night and things seem to slow down, how I can kind of overview I guess you would say the events in that day. You know, it's just that..."that day." I really haven't had much sleep the past two days, day one being because I scared myself with some silly little situation that happened at Brooke's school, which I might add didn't phase Brooke ONE BIT...but yet kept me up until 3:30am! Second being that Brooke's asthma was pretty worry some during the night, which means I slept as if I just brought home a new born baby. Things are looking up though and that's what mainly is important. I took Brooke to the UMC clinic where grandma Josie works and the PA ordered her a shot (I'm assuming some sort of steroid for the inflammation in her passageways) in the bum. ::Sigh:: Yes, we had to argue with her to just let grandma give her the shot. :(( Finally we got it done, and it turned out to be nothing. Brooke even thought she was kind of silly for being so dramatic about getting a shot. Brooke is doing a whole lot better and this to shall pass. After leaving the clinic we swung by the house to scoop of Jason to go with us to get some McDonald's for lunch. It's crazy because right as we were finishing up lunch my uncle Ray and his son little Ray showed up at our door! I was surprised because I did not expect to see them. I guess my dad's side of the family is pretty unpredictable. Ironically PePaw happened to stop by the house to get his work shirts to drop off at the cleaners and he saw that Ray was here. He was definitely happy to see his brother. It warmed my heart to see them hugging so genuinely, makes you realize and refocus about what's really important in life. Pepaw took them to Furr's for dinner, and not so surprising they are at the bar. :(( It's not something I want him doing, but he is my dad and I have to just keep my opinions to myself. I just wish people would see that those choices are poor, and almost always nothing good comes from choosing to hang out at a bar. I just pray they come home safely and that I can minister to my dad when it's over with. Now back to my choatic night. I ended up with Kyra and Averyn joining the group and Tia Jennifer ordered pizza for us. There was definitely a lot of yelling on my part, :'( obviously I am not happy about that. At those times it seems so hard for me to just not be angry with my kids for fighting and telling. Brooke cried over and over because either Kyra was ignoring her or that Kyra wouldn't play what she wanted to play...and I am sure many more things. I had to just get myself together and asked God to just PLEASE help me communicate with Brooke calmly. I then grabbed her softly by the arms and explained to her that no one wants to play with a little girl who is crying over and over again about small things. I sent her to her room and told her to get herself together and then come out when she can be calm. This however took more than once. Eventually we got it back to normal and the girls calmly played, even if it was different things. Kyra watched TV and Brooke played with her baby dolls sitting beside me in the recliner. On the flip side, Taylor is fighting his sleep, Jason just got home and the little guy is still awake! It's been a long, long 2 days!!! :O But over all it's so funny how even though I have these hard days with the kids, I still very much wouldn't change it for anything else. I love these kids, I want to be the one caring and loving on them, even if it's me yelling at them to quiet it down (totally contradicting) or me just breathing in the peace that we so rarely get when the house is full. I love it, I honestly love it. There are things I want to change, I want to have more patience when it gets loud and none of the kids are minding me, I want to play more with them and set aside cleaning or picking up. I want to be their memories. <3 So I will have a serious talk tonight with Heavenly Father about what he needs me to do to better mother these kids. I want to be like him, HE is the one I care most about. I do NOT want to fail him. Sure hope I'm not. -xoxo

Simply Amazing :)

Today was my parent-teacher conference with Ms.Stevens, and it went so good. She went over her grading curriculum and just kind of gave Jason and I a blue print on how and why she will grade their school work from now on. His coloring is improving beyond my words can express, his counting and pronunciation are improving as well. Over all, Tyler is progressing wonderfully in kindergarten and I am just so happy to hear this! Ms.Stevens didn't have any complaints or major concerns for Tyler and that alone has put my heart at ease. My little man is growing up! I just think he's so wonderful. I thank God for these kids everyday! They definitely bring light to my world, although most days bring struggle to bring peace between these kids, and I may yell at them many times a day, and I am constantly correcting them..you know, I wouldn't change any of it for the world. This is my life, and this is what Heavenly Father had planned for me, and I am glad I know my purpose in this life. Now, I am just taking it in stride! Taylor is doing awesome too, I ask him to say his name and he says "Tator!" It's the cutest thing ever, his talking is getting better by the day! Now it's my goal to teach him to have a clean mouth! Our family (The Parks) seem to have a weird sense of humor, and I think I need to clean it up a little. :/ We seem to say out of the norm kind of things, and I know it's not appropriate so I plan on talking about it with Jason tonight when he gets home from work. I think more of it's directed towards Tyler, but Brooke can jump in on it from time to time. But we do need to just change it up, we seem to get caught up in having a good time with the kids, forgetting our responsibility in teaching them right and wrong. Oh the duties/responsibilities of parents. :)) Brooke is doing great too, we had a little meltdown at dinner tonight. I cooked spaghetti and she just had a fit about it. She asked me to fix her tuna, but I told her no. I just am getting fed up with always having to make different things for her if she doesn't like what I fix. So it's a battle I'm going to have to fight against her. I messed up though because I told her I wasn't going to fix her anything else since she didn't eat her dinner, and the only thing I would allow her to have was water. Well then Brittani called and invited us over for cookies, so we went and Brooke ate some!! Gggrrr to forgetting that I told her I wasn't going to allow her to having anything else!! Today was such a great day, the weather was great, Jason is working 3-11 which allows me to have the mornings with him (more like I get sleep later than normal) we went to Tyler's parent/teacher conference, went to wal-mart after with Taylor and came home to fix spam sandwiches and just relaxed the rest of the day! It was nice to have this semi-cold weather and to just snuggle with the kids. At this moment, I am so happy with my life. My husband, my family, my church, every blessing that I'm feeling from Jesus by trying my best to choose the right, to live the gospel, obeying the word of wisdom, reacting and not acting with people. It's so wonderful, the blessings within are wonderful. I'm so thankful for this gospel, for the restoration of Jesus's church, for our prophet, for the women of Relief Society, my sisters. I'm in love with life. <3 -Kayla

Communication

There are so many things going on right now, so I'm going to break it down in this post (more like venting). Brooke and Tyler are still doing so good in school right now. Tyler's handwriting is getting better by each passing day and Brooke was already tested for GT, so I'm just waiting to hear back from her teacher about her scores. Jamie and the family are doing well in Hawaii, as far as we are all concerned he won't be getting deployed and I am so happy to hear this news! I hated when he was in Afghanistan for his previous mission because that is where all the danger is. So I'm glad we get to keep him, and I'll for sure be praying that it stay this way the remainder of his serving in the Army. Jennifer and Trenton are still the same, and I pray that they continue to grow and mature together in their marriage. I guess I really had no choice but to mature so early on in life, being that I had Brooke when I was 16. My parents were and remained firm about me mothering her, which to this day I understand and am SO grateful for their decision to be that hard on me. It made me the mother I am today, and I know I am not the best mother to my kids, but I do love them and care about trying to better myself for them ultimately. Taylor is still crazy spoiled, but he is my baby and I don't mind giving myself to him throughout the day while his siblings are at school. I am relishing in these moments that I have with him. He is talking so good now and is wanting to do everything by himself! :( It makes me sad to think that my "baby" is no longer a baby. I'm 24 years old with my "baby" now being a toddler, this is my family and now I strive to grow close to them all and for us to always be united. That is my goal. Jason and I had a serious talk this afternoon before lunch because I think I finally hit that breaking point with him. First off, communication is KEY to having a successful marriage...well, I take that back...most marriages that have communication are most likely to succeed. Not all husbands and wives use communication productively in their marriages. Anyways, I sometimes as a wife feel so like I'm on autopilot in my marriage. Like this is all I am to Jason, and this is just how my life is going to be and end. As if I'm standing on my own, lifting my own weight along with carrying it. I cannot stand that feeling! I want that spark, that flame to always remain lit and burning ferociously with love and excitement. I am way to young to be feeling as if I'm in a 60 year old marriage!! Jason tends to make unpleasant jokes sometimes about other females, and it really does make me insecure. I get to thinking "does he find that other woman thinner and more appealing than myself?", primarily because I do have my own insecurities about my body image, and I could be most likely taking out my own insecurities on his jokes, which are very harmless. But, I did tell him how I need him to be and how I need him to just accept that I am sensitive and I need reassurance in my life, especially from him. The great thing about my husband is that I  know I am his everything, and I trust him that he will change in that aspect of our marriage. :)) He always changes when it's called for, he is a humbling spirit and I know this is what I needed to do. I needed to communicate with him about needing him to be just a little more romantic and protecting of me. My marriage with Jason started off very rocky and was a definite trial in life until after the birth of Taylor. When I first became pregnant with Tyler, we moved into an apartment together with Brooke. At that time, I had NEVER lived with a "boyfriend" and was even more scared because I had this little baby girl (Brooke) that I was allowing Jason to parent.  I knew though that we needed to do this because it was the right thing to do. We had good jobs and there was no reason on why we shouldn't become adults. During that whole year living in those apartment we were tested and trialed. There were a lot of disagreements, and even second-guessing between us to. But either way, we stayed committed to one another. We then decided together that moving to Houston with his parents would be good for us, because we for one would have them to help us with the kids, and secondly they said there were better job opportunities for us in the city. Little did we know we should have stayed in Plainview being that we already had good jobs. We then led to separating, me moving back to Plainview with just the kids. We were separated for 7 months!!! But then again, we always stayed committed. I really think we know we are for eachother. I then moved back to Houston, and we stayed there for a good 9 months before we decided that our home is in Plainview. So we moved back with Pepaw and we've just grown together. I just know he is the man I am supposed to grow old with. He is forgiving and loving with our family and kids. <3 Well the girls just came over and I'll finish up this thought later!! Kayla

Proud Momma!!

This came home in Tyler's folder Tuesday, and boy was I impressed!! This is the best coloring I have seen from him since school began. It really reassures me that he is going to do great in school! I'm so impressed with him and how much is he maturing in his work. His name is looking so good, he loves practicing with me and Jason with letter pronunciations and singing days of the week and months! I'm just so proud of him and what he's accomplishing as a kindergartner. <3 I just needed to blog this because for one it's worth digitally saving and I'm just having a proud momma high! -xoxo Kayla!!

Tyler,,,my love

My hero is doing so good in Kindergarten. He is singing his months of the year in order, he is writing his name so much neater, his coloring is improving so much!! His speech is becoming more clear, I have noticed. He isn't a morning person so much anymore, but it seems like he gets into the groove right before dropping them off at school. We decided to post pone the Sylvan program until early next year. Financially it is what's best for our family. We will have a huge debt paid off next year so we shouldn't have any problems making it work, and we really have seen so much improvement in Tyler's work. So I am at ease with this decision, and I know this is how it's supposed to be going right now. I'm allowing the spirit to guide me with these kids. :) I just needed to praise this little guy because his spirit makes my day bright. He comes home and does his homework willingly, he never fights it (as long as we remain patient with him). He still runs around the house all crazy with a blanket tied around him as his cape, he still wrestles Taylor all of the time until one of them starts crying, he still hums while we eat dinner, he still says "butt hole, underwear!!", and a series of other funny words, which I  don't mind because this is just Tyler, he is his father's son. I love all of this about him, his personality reminds me so much of Jason, and Jason is such a good independent man. So I know Tyler will be fine. If anything, I do want my boys to be like their father. Jason is amazing to our family, so anyone who thinks differently can turn right back around and go back to where they came from! :D The kids are all doing great and I am one content, happy mother. :)-xoxox I LOVE YOU TYLER!!! You Rock Mommies World Sweet Boy!

our October evening....

This is the best picture I could of the kids together. Tyler looks awesome!! hahaha

Monkey Man

 Yes, my little family is wild! Jason was sweeping the driveway this afternoon and the boys rode around on their bikes while he did swept. Brooke and I saw them outside having a blast, so we joined in on the fun. Taylor is getting better at pedaling on his bike, I got a cute video of him doing so. Brooke and Tyler of course fought of the 3 wheel bike, we need to buy them both new bikes asap!! Maybe Santa will be generous this year, MAYBE. :)) Jason decided to climb trees, and his hair is beautiful as well as himself. <3 I love this man.

He is my everything.

We had Burger King and Taco Bell to finish off this wonderful, breezy afternoon of spending time together. I'm loving this whole laid back lifestyle so much.

The Boys!! I love them much!!

 Brooke helping daddy.

Brew date with my lady

 This evening I promised Brooke a date at the Brew. She knows I go to the Brew alot with Emilie and she was curious to see what it's all about. Our deal was if she was good and obedient for a whole week I would reward her with a date to the Brew. Brooke did awesome with her behavior for a whole week. We did have meltdowns here and there, but over all she was a pretty easy child. :)) It was fun to see her reaction when seeing the Brew for the first time. I don't know why, but I guessed she envisioned like a Palazzo Hotel scenario or something, because she was like "this is the Brew (in a shocked way)?? haha..I explained to her that alot of Wayland students come here to study or hang out with friends while drinking hot chocolate and enjoying baked goodies. It was no nice to have this time with her. To see the look on her face of pure happiness, by just being with me was so rewarding to myself!! She is such an amazing little girl, who I just know will get far in life.

 We talked about Math, friends from school (which was pretty much her telling me about the drama on the playground), what she wants to be for Halloween and the Plan of Salvation. She told me about her friend Layla's grandmother dying of a heart attack, and she asked me why we die. I explained to her that Jesus probably stopped Layla's grandma's heart to bring her to him in the spirit world. That dying pretty much just means we leave our bodies to move onto the spirit world, we never lose who WE ARE. Then I briefly went over the Plan of Salvation with her. This was nice to re tune myself with the gospel and our eternal plan. I got to take advantage of this topic and

 tell her at the same time to always try and be the example. That if we are nice and obedient we can display our Christianity to those who haven't been saved, that we must lead by example. I know she is only 7 years old, and will have many challenges in life being a latter-day-saint, but I believe by me telling her these things and living it myself will build her touchstone, her foundation of our covenants with our Heavenly Father. I am not perfect and I do not always have a clean mouth, but I do obey what I have promised my Father in Heaven. I pray for forgiveness of my weaknesses and I pray for strength.

 Brooke mentioned to me that she doesn't like seeing her uncle Trenton, Daddy and Pepaw drinking beers, that it is wrong and they aren't living the word of wisdom..this was also another great opportunity to help her see what a worldly life is about. I explained to her that we love Trenton, Daddy and Pepaw and that we must pray for them. That there are going to be people in our lives who we love dearly that are going to do things we don't agree with, but it definitely doesn't mean we have to choose to do it either. I grew up a Church of Christ member, and in this church they have no word of wisdom, they live by worldly people's instruction, not the instruction of our prophets. So alot of people haven't accepted the word of wisdom because they may have not been taught it or they just don't allow the spirit to guide them. I really hope that having these talks with her will help her choose the right in the future. Drinking and smoking and all other habits of the world cause us to be prisoners. I pray so much for my children to follow this gospel, because they choose to, because they have faith in the blessings that come with being obedient. People now a days are so blinded by the blessings that come from living a pure life that they mistake brief joy as blessings, only to be stoned with grief and regret after the high crashes. I do not judge these people, for I was once them. But the pain that I caused myself and most of all my husband was a very hard obstacle to over come. However, by the Atonement of Jesus Christ I was able to fully repent of my sins, and it is now as if it never happened. That is how we are supposed to feel when we truly repent of our sins. So it was nice to have this conversation with Brooke tonight, I hope we can have alot more of them in the future. We also talked about Brian. I asked Brooke how did she feel about her daddy (Jason) adopting her. She said she didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I explained to her that this isn't going to hurt anyone's feelings. That there are lots of children who are adopted into wonderful families, and that she is lucky to have Jason and me. I told her about the story of Brie Gomez and how Jesus called her to heaven while her kids are still small. I told her that God has a plan for us and we need to trust him, but at the same time our family is somewhat different, and that I wanted to take care of her on this earth in case Jesus calls me to Heaven before her. I asked her if I were to go to Heaven before her, where would she want to go, and she said she wants to stay with her daddy and brothers. This itself answered my question. I know Jason and I need to legalize Jason as her primary legal guardian along with myself (which I already am). Jason has been raising her since she was practically 7 months!! She is a Parks for sure!!! So we will soon begin this journey as our financial situation enables us to. I accomplished so many things tonight with Brooke while on this date. We will for sure continue going on these dates as her behavior permits. I am so grateful for this, I can't express how content I am with her. <3 He is amazing in all his promises!! Xoxo - Kayla